My Long Way Around

A hole in my hoodie!

2012-02-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

I’m exhausted, my brain is a disaster…no guarantee’s this will be coherent…

Crazy Pants had FUN at the CAA trial on the weekend…I honestly couldn’t be happier for her.

I need to see her happy and playing agility.  I’m not a quitter, I will work at something until I believe I’ve given it my best, but if my best still isn't enough, I will walk away at peace about it. And I need to see that my best is making a difference for her. For us.

Agility is a way for us to detach from life and focus on our relationship. I know I’ve done an awful lot wrong with her…sometimes those faults feel so overwhelming…and I know some of these issues we will struggle with her entire life but that’s ok, its part of what makes her Neena. But it is a horrible feeling watching your dog melt-down, and my goal was/is to teach her how to work through and recover from those fears. We've worked hard...and it's paying off. Saturday I had a lady come up to me and comment on how far we've come, and she said Neena is a really sweet dog.  My Go! Dog! Go! friends see the true Neena, but one of the hardest things for me is that the other handlers only see Neena as broken down afraid dog...it meant a lot to hear different.

We had some fantastic moments on the weekend…every run she was happy, we played on the start line, like arm biting, hoodie ripping play. Occasionally she was on the verge of out of control zoomies. It made me laugh...which as we all know made her crazier...it was fun.  And a couple runs we really connected...in a way that left me shaking with adrenaline and happiness...and fighting back tears.

A few things I think have really made a difference, I've been working hard to control my own emotions, which includes refusing to be part of or around negativity. I've also been trying to walk calmly and doing focus work on the way to practise/league/trial run, the idea is to make the agility the party, not the walk too/from.  So a couple times this weekend I chose to reward on course for playing with me.  The focus work is also really paying off, especially at the startlines. In fact we started doing Rally classes on Friday nights, and she's LOVING it...she stares at me with that happy little Neena grin for an hour straight:).

Of course there is always work to be done...for example I need to keep building toy drive, she had a minor meltdown when Darcy was calling numbers during snooker, and I still struggle at finding the balance between firm and fun. But that's ok...there is always room for improvement...in agility or otherwise.

Ended the weekend by meeting a friend for a bike-path walk along the Bow River, the city lights were pretty and the air was crisp.  The company was pretty nice too:). And Neena still had enough energy to provide some entertainment, I'll never understand how a stick can be so much fun lol.

Naughty Neena:)

2011-12-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went with Amanda to Calgary for Wicca's third appointment with Dr. Duvall. This is my second trip, and it's been good experience for me...unfortunately at Woo's expense...but I do enjoy seeing a different aspect of veterinary medicine. It blows my mind how much there is to learn...in a I can't wait to get started way!

On the way home we stopped at Louanne's for a herding lesson...this is Brit looking like a real border collie:).

She's a big girl...already working on her 'walk-ups'...

THIS...is Neena on sheep...

And this...

AND this...(please do note the crazy flying ears lol)

She's being a very, very naughty border collie...

And how did I feel about that?

I thought it was freaking hilarious. I'm probably a bad mom.

BUT...here's the thing...it had been 2 1/2 years since the last time Neena was at Louanne's. Back then, she was still a baby dog, and we struggled with confidence (big suprise huh!)...in fact, I had a hard time keeping her with me, if I put too much pressure on her she'd try to leave the pen. Her dog equivalent of F-you.

So I just can't lie...it made me laugh to see my scared-of-life border collie grip & chase. And my giggles might have encouraged her to be naughtier. Its a vicious circle. Of giggling and naughtier. How bad can that really be?

I wish I had the time and resources to pursue herding more seriously, it is truly a cool experience to see the natural ability & instinct your dog has...occasionally Neena even looks a little bit like a real border collie lol...

Jenny Glen explained the instinct to Amanda as a type of 'deja vu' for the dogs...which is a cool way to think about it.

And while I can see it, I loved feeling how Neena responds to the pressure I put on her...

But for now its something we can play around with occasionally, although I'm not sure Neena's ok with that...she really wasn't ready to be done lol.

Thanks for the photo's Amanda!

On another note...Louanne is training Mack Daddy full time, he's a big boy working dog now and will make his trialing debut sometime in 2012.

It was awesome to see him, even if it was short...we miss our Mack Daddy:)!

Trial Update

2011-11-14T20:26:00.001-07:00

Last week was a bit of agility over load after a month off where I'll admit we did nothing…no agility…at all. I've felt guilty about that for sure. Besides the guilt, I was extra ready to get back at it last week...I’ve missed my friends, the challenges, the working towards goals, the play time, the bloody knuckles, the banter…everything. And I'm pretty sure she did too:). Class was good, we had a few sniffy or worried moments but we worked through them and for the most part she was happy, motivated and focused. And later I realized she didn't go AWOL once...not that she does it all the time, and sometimes the zoomies can be kind of cute, but they aren’t safe, and they are an indication
of a weakness in our relationship. It was a great little realization!

Thursday night we ran a jumpers course in league, she had a minor meltdown our first run, and blew me off the second run. It’s a hard line with her between being happy, cheering her on, and playing WITH HER and being firm, trusting her to do her job and demanding she plays WITH ME. I'm learning. After we stuck around and did some focus work in the arena and around the benching area and by the end of the night I felt better about our evening.

Friday Neena and I headed to Calgary for the CAA trial at the Fezdome and I have to say we had a pretty awesome weekend:).

I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I know how hard we've worked, and I've seen her handle scary situations so much better than she has in the past. But it was still hard to know how to prepare myself emotionally for Neena. And I'm not 100% right now either...the last thing we needed was simultaneous Crazy Pants AND Crazy J meltdowns.

Fortunately neither of us had did...and believe me we both had plenty of opportunities too! But we dealt...and while I won't say we were our best, we were SO FAR from our worst:).

After the weekend I really wanted to re-read the "Reminders to Jen" post...that weekend was my game changing moment and I wanted to see if I've followed through on those goals, and if/how they've made a difference. Here are my thoughts:

Trust. I need to work on our relationship so she will trust me and stick with me on the course.
Neena walked with me to every startline...and there were runs I know she was nervous at the start line, but we got in that ring and we ran. Additionally, there was 'several times when she thought about running off course...but a firm "Neena" was all it took and she chose to come back. Every time. I'd tell you how good that felt...but I can't.

Motivation & rewards (aka. Build Drive!!!)...I need to get better at varying rewards, and teach her that even if there isn't a visible reward on course she will get one at the end. Better yet if I can become the reward. The length of time we can use toys as rewards in class has definitely increased, however she would barely play with me in the arena this weekend. We played outside, and she was happy to focus/work with me for food...sometimes for longer periods of time than I would typically ever work her in class (my timing to the start line sometimes still sucks lol). But we still have some work to do here...I want her to play with me to the startline. Although if her options are to either focus on me/the food reward or meltdown...we are making progress. Suggestion from Sarah was a goodie containers, which she also wasn't interested in, but I will start building their value in class/at home and hopefully they can be part of the transition from treats to play at a trial in the future.

Building focus. This is tied in with many of these points, but if I understand this right the more focused she is on me, the less she will focus on the 'scary' stuff...writing this here makes that seem so elementary. But sometimes I need to remind myself of the basics!!! NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that doing this was key to helping Neena deal with her fears/stress this weekend. Again, I just think about those startlines. And she's avoiding me so many times on course in the past...one of my best moments from the entire weekend was her looking up at me from the table. It was her relaxed, trusting, happy face...made me all melty inside and stuff. That moment alone validated all the work we've done.

Continue to build our warm-up/cool-down routine. Check. Right down to a bedtime massage last night which had the added bonding time benefit:). But still always a work in progress.

Training. Class once a week and our regular 'work' is not cutting it any longer. During the summer we had class once a week, and most weeks we made it to the field at least once more. Like I said, recently I've been slacking here...no excuses.

Find a better balance between making agility fun and being firm, reinforcing this is a job that she is expected to do. I repeat...I'm learning...slowly. Lol.

Final notes...although her confidence and ability to recover is MUCH better, I still think we would have had more problems at the Balzac arena, turns out I'm wait listed for the December trial and I'm not sure I'm all that upset about that. I need to have her head every minute so our distance (eg. in gambles) is almost non-existant. And she was more worried about the judges than she has been in the past. However, we are doing the right things to help her build the confidence she needs to work through these issues...its just a matter of time and work.

OH YA...AAAAND Neena curled up against my leg Saturday night and went to sleep. Voluntarily. Yep.

Neena...have I told you lately I heart you and your my bestest gal? xo

Thankful

2011-10-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a few days late, and this is a lame addition for just how much I have to be thankful for lately...but I can't celebrate Thanksgiving without adding!

#318 - 337 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~wide open spaces

~ escaping the city

~ fresh air

~ harvest

~ smoked beef loin

~ G'nite's and Good MORNINGS!!! lol

~ a boy toy for the daughter

~ HELMETS

~ motorsports

~ No-No and Auntie NEN

~ boys that never grow up

~ confidence

~ Crazy Eyes

~ Saturday mornings, a good book and breakfast in bed

~ third author!

~ cowboys & rain & early mornings

~ that Neena gets shotgun

~ dinosaurs and piano keys

~ lunch dates & baby snuggles

~ CAKE

Published!!!

2011-10-11T21:10:00.003-06:00

Remember this?

March 8, 2011

Monday - a door opens, stay tuned...I'm keeping it a suprise (its killing me!) but its BIG! Almost as big as my vet interview...*claps hands in glee*...can't wait, can't wait, can't WAIT!!

It was finally published in the Journal of Food Protection this month...

This is definitely one of my Top 5 research technician moments:).

Just a little naughty...

2011-08-25T21:30:00.000-06:00

Amanda recorded one of our standard runs at the Go! Dog! Go! trial a couple weekends ago...this video makes me happy in my heart...Neena was totally being naughty, but she's just so happy. And even though she does some 'free-styling'...she's not worried, she's not shutting down, and we are still playing together...

In a nutshell that was our whole weekend...I was so proud of her, and of myself...we've worked hard this summer and I know we may slip again in the future...fear and confidence are funny that way...but now I know we can work through it.

And that is a lesson more valuable to me than any Q :).

Introducing...

2011-08-18T21:47:00.000-06:00

Loco the kitty...he belongs to my roomie Jacinda, man I forgot how much darn fun kittens are:)! I was a little worried how Neena would handle small, random and fast...but she's done great. And Loco has no fear at all...he's a pretty cool lil dude. Hopefully I can catch some photo's of the two hooligans up to mischief soon!

#301 - 317 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts
~ being the big sister
~ forgiveness
~ after market exhausts and underpasses
~ dancing with the flower girls...
~ lil tuxes & black eyes
~ a little quiet time with Jaxon
~ nipple nibbles...Neena style lol
~ a fun steeplechase debut
~ an unfortunate shredding death for one said cow toy
~ a mauling...Brit style
~ Go! Dog! Go!
~ a savior circle
~ making it to the closing in Snooker without being tweeted off lol
~ a row of Ariats
~ Bonnie
~ spontaneous birthday celebrations
~ cat-calling my favorite hockey player

Believe

2011-08-11T22:48:00.000-06:00

I believe that I could

win or lose,

that I could fall, or rise,

at any given moment.

I believe the only way I fail, is if I don't try.

Jodi Hills ~ Believe

Somedays I read this book before I even get out of bed...and believe it or not it helps:)!

Neena and I have an agility trial this weekend...I will not doubt. I know what's in my heart.

I believe in us.

p.s. thanks for the reminder.

Wasting my time?

2011-08-10T23:26:00.002-06:00

What's on my mind? A month from today I'll be back at the U of L...

Was I surprised that U of C didn't think of me as their #1 pick for the class of 2015? Nope. Did that make it any easier? Not really.

I'm happy to say I don't remember crying, well maybe my eyes watered a little when Dustin left me a voice message telling me he was proud of me anyways. But come on...I'm not a freakin ice cube.

Wasn't anything I could do about it...so I decided to enjoy my summer and worry later. And man have I ever done a good job of that:).

But the truth is it feels like my life is on hold. I'm frustrated. I'm dejected. And worst of all I struggle with self-doubt. Life Truth #813...doesn't matter how many other people believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. I'm working at it.

FYI...I'm not all Debbie Downer...I'm just being honest. I'm getting good at putting on my big girl panties and reminding myself this is not a waste of my time...this chapter of my life does have a purpose. Logically...this is at least part of why I didn't get into vet school...after all the U of C wants to know how bad I want to become Jenilee Peters DVM. What exactly am I willing to do...go through...sacrifice...to get there?

AAAAAND...I'm done talking about it for now.

I'm behind...but here's a few that stick out from the past month.

#266 - 300 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ 35 MPG

~ financial wiggle room

~ pizza on a stick

~ fireworks

~ animal behavior...and that I have a few pals who love to analyze it with me!

~ rodeo's

~ an introduction to working horse competitions!!!

~ real time text messages...

~ party rock anthems

~ being there for Michelle & Sherry's birthdays

~ road trip and old CD's

~ a Facebook wall chat about drugs and hoooookers lololol

~ freshly cut hair

~ seeing hard work pay off...and a demonstration for Windy City Canine Rescue

~ a JD birthday present for my 4 year old...make fun of me all you want!

~ two of my favorite boys

~ being included in family day

~ F18's and Snowbirds

~ dirt on my face at the chuckwagons

~ pride...she's the boss!

~ free choice

~ grace

~ being a rebel...you more so than me;)

~ a sibling road trip...and a little revenge both ways lol

~ 'buttercup' & butter ripple schnapps

~ friends & a modified race

~ Tab's banana bread

~ Sunday's with the family

~ learning something new

~ busy at Alberta Agriculture

~ kittens

~ lily's

~ Katie & Dustin & Wranglers lol

~ a good nights sleep

~ bedtime stories

For Sherry

2011-07-21T22:08:00.000-06:00

It's your birthday blog! I know...a little late...but better than never right?

I had me a little moment Saturday night...we were in your yard, watching your kids playing, at your 30th birthday party. Wow! Seems like just yesterday we were getting our drivers licence's and carpooling to school...when you stop and look back at all the years since then...and where we are right now...kinda blows your mind doesn't it:)?

Anywho...I love my trips to Lloydminster! Its so nice to relax and hang with you and the boys...and sometimes its just easier to chat face to face, even when that means there is no hiding lol. And it was a fun party even if it was cut short...think I'll just let the pictures tell their own lil story.

Ok I lied...I just can't not comment on some of these...is it just me, or does this look...a little...funny...lolol!

Pretty!!!

At least it can't be said you didn't have a 30th birthday shot;)!

I need one of these...

Wish I hadn't backlit this photo...its so funny, like a lil Kanye West, makes me laugh every time!

Dylan & Auntie Jen's first photoshoot...there's more...but I'm being shy lol.

AND...I was having technical difficulties so here's a link to the 'theme song' lol.

Look out 40!

#244 - 265

2011-07-10T22:28:00.001-06:00

#244 - 265 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts
~ meeting a sweetheart, who was abandoned and starved...
~ knowing she will never suffer like that again
~ puttering around my yard...on my land...itty bitty piece that it is!
~ Neena outsmarting the sprinkler
~ a physically (if not always emotionally, she IS mine ya know...) healthy Crazy Pants
~ having fun at agility...even if it was with the distractions lol
~ learning to recover...hmpf....
~ light bulb moments
~ "I love you Auntie Jen"
~ planning for my future
~ quiet time
~ unplanned visits with the Aunties
~ confidence
~ being part of a team
~ watersports
~ childhood friends
~ volleyball
~ giggling and shrieking with Jo Jo
~ friends and family who spoil Crazy Pants
~ a much happier Neena at the race track
~ cruisin' in Mom's new wheels
~ giggling 40 & 50 year olds lol

Training Update

2011-06-19T20:48:00.004-06:00

Well...Wednesday was a rough day for Neena and I. I still haven't learned that I can't train or work with her unless I'm 110%...and I sure wasn't. It showed.

Yesterday and today we were back at it...and we had a great time. We've been spending a lot of time working on improving our focus and relationship...one of the greatest feelings in the world is having her look at ME with her silly little smile as we walk by a gophur hole:). I am super excited to start the next set of classes...Sarah's calling it the LMFAO (Learning+Motivation+Fun+Agility Obstacles) class:). I've been assured it will be hard, but its exactly what we need right now!!!

Haven't posted this photograph yet, Wendy (Paws on the Run Photography) took this at the Medicine Hat trial just seconds before she got mauled by Neena...its a great shot, you can see the recognition dawning on her face:).

#224 - 236 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ Neena's snores

~ TWO!!!

~ cupcakes!!!

~ "come get me Auntie"

~ that I worked with her long enough to become friends...the real kind...

~ clay on my ropers

~ a chat on my front bumper

~ laughing at the three E's...exhausted, emotional & Eminem

~ "I win!"

~ new jobs

~ a tipsy Barbie

~ Father's Day brunch

~ Neena and the magpie's

For those of you waiting too...

2011-06-15T22:11:00.001-06:00

Dear Applicant:

Thank you for applying to the Doctor of Veterinary Medicine program at the University of Calgary Faculty of Veterinary Medicine. I regret to inform you that you have not been selected for admission into the DVM program starting in September of 2011.

Information about the results of your application will be provided by email in early July and at that time information about the 2010-2011 application process will be posted on the UCVM website (http://vet.ucalgary.ca/dvmprogram).

Yours sincerely,

Alastair Cribb, DVM PhD
Dean, Faculty of Veterinary Medicine
University of Calgary

The Penguins

2011-06-12T20:59:00.000-06:00

Neena and I were very happy to have Brit for a few days while Amanda was at regionals with Wicca & Pixel. She is such a pretty gal, I love her face...and she's so very soft...

This was Brit's second visit, and she was definitely more comfortable this time...the girls had a great time playing together, even if 5:30am was a tad early for WWF;).

Thankfully that was only one morning...in addition to wrestle mania, they played "we run fast"...

...and "hide & seek".

And when we were finally tuckered...we played a little "Top Models".

Saturday we also played "agility dogs"...Neena's 'Up' trick has turned out to be one of her favorites, we do it a lot when she's nervous, it seems like the movement helps her release her stress. It's a gooder.

We had such a GREAT training session on Saturday, we still struggle with focus...those darn gophurs are pretty sexy...but I'm seeing improvements already. I was thrilled with Neena...taking turns with Brit might have had a small part in that:). Nothing like a little jealousy to make working for me a little more exciting lol!

#209 - 223 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ peanut butter and chocolate cake

~ spoiling a friend

~ progress

~ watching "I run fast"

~ hands stained from playing in the dirt

~ patience

~ the knowledge to do some of the right things

~ age spots

~ a laughing Brady

~ its the ugly truth...that it wasn't my brother

~ a Mom who can handle all my secrets

~ happily tired penguins

~ the giggle of my best friend's child

~ "night night sweet dreams"

~ trust

Reminders to Jen

2011-06-02T22:39:00.000-06:00

I don't know how to write this blog.  In fact I'm to the point where I've considered not writing it at all...but doing that would be for the wrong reasons.  This blog has always been about recording our journey, the good, the bad, and sometimes even the ugly:)...I need a record, a reminder of the weekend, for both my and Neena's benefit.

One of my fears writing this is that it would come across wrong.  I'm still trying to wrap my brain around everything and I'm afraid to be misunderstood. Mostly because its important to me that I don't come across as too hard on my self or even worse hard on Neena.  I just want to be fair and honest. I believe that's how you learn and grow.

On to the main event...Neena and I headed to Medicine Hat for the Flashing Canine's Trial last weekend. I was so excited for it, we've had a lot of fun at outdoor trials in the past and I was really looking forward to having some fun at a trial with her. Looking back now, I think I was also hoping we'd have similar success to our other outdoor trials. Maybe not as awesome as our Go Dog Go trial last August, but similar. And I think going with that attitude was maybe a little naive. But I'm being honest here.

Was it as hard emotionally as some of our indoor trials have been...not even close. But this is maybe the best way I can explain it...Amanda taped two of our runs. One she's already deleted and for the time being she is refusing to show me the other.  And that's ok with me. Right now the only video I want to watch of Neena and I is our jumpers run from the GDG trial.  Together we had fun. Together we were a team.

The reality of last weekend is that somehow I let us drift away from that, and while I could come up with lots of excuses I think that's lame. Bottom line is, Neena isn't an easy girl...but if I want to be serious about agility with her I have to step up my A-game.
Back to the trial, there are lots of positives from the weekend, a few that stick out in my mind:

I was able to warm her up before each run by myself (re. without Sarah and/or Amanda's help) and have some level of connection with her at the startline.
We had more success on course than we have at the past several trials.
She weaved 12 poles TWICE on course...first time we've done that!
She stuck some of her contacts, which means to me she WAS connected at least at some level to me. On a side note...she had a super cute moment when she blew her contact and reached back with her feet to find it. She does it at class occasionally too...its super funny...I really should videotape that lol.
Definitely see some improvements on her recovery after scary things...there was SO much going on this weekend: thunder, baseball, diesel trucks, dogs barking in kennels...and while she was visibly worried, she worked through it. Not once did I see her shaking on the ground. Yay for Neena!!!
She came back.

On the other hand, we definitely have some work to do:

Trust. I need to work on our relationship so she will trust me and stick with me on the course.
Motivation & rewards (aka. Build Drive!!!)...I need to get better at varying rewards, and teach her that even if there isn't a visible reward on course she will get one at the end. Better yet if I can become the reward:). Yep...still trying to wrap my little brain around how I manage that...lol
Building focus. This is ties in with many of these points, but if I understand this right the more focused she is on me, the less she will focus on the 'scary' stuff...writing this here makes that seem so elementary. But sometimes I need to remind myself of the basics!!!
Continue to build our warm-up/cool-down routine.
Training. Class once a week and our regular 'work' is not cutting it any longer. Sarah and Amanda both talked to me about increasing the amount of training I am doing, my current amount just isn't cutting it. Its my choice. If I want her to succeed its what I need to do. It was still hard to hear, although its the truth and I'm very glad to have people around me who tell me the truth...not just what I want to hear.
Find a better balance between making agility fun and being firm, reinforcing this is a job that she is expected to do.

I have pages of notes from the weekend, from conversations I've had, and from class this week. This blog feels like its kind of a 'scratching the surface' type deal...but that's ok. I think there's enough here it will be a good reminder for me.

On another note...as always it was GREAT hanging with some of my favorite peoples and their dogs! I really do enjoy cheering on my Go Dog Go pals...and when I started thinking back to the weekend I could pick out a cool moment from at least one of everyones runs. We have a big group of some really talented trainers and dog/handler teams...I'm pretty proud to be part of it!

Track Bible's

2011-05-16T08:00:00.001-06:00

Race season at Bridge County Raceway kicked off last night!

Kathy and I had chatted as we prepared for the season, I knew that my position was changing a little this year...but I wasn't expecting to get my very own track bible...it was a moment for me:).

Let me tell you it got well used last night! All did not go quite how I wanted, but even with the bloody wind and my lame-o driver's meeting, I thought the night was an overall success:). I'm excited about this summer...its shaping up to be a fun one!

And I'm pretty sure Katie agree's...

#169 - 187 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ ice cream

~ mutual back scratching

~ quality time

~ road trips

~ silky stuff

~ dirt tracks

~ the smell of freshly mowed grass

~ a pouty Neena-ba-Neena

~ a friend who understood when I said I needed my Crazy Pants:)

~ my racing family

~ qt text messages

~ an Oma who talks about her 'racer' great granddaughter

~ a bear-hug...Uncle Frank style

~ a late night chat...Aunt Velma style

~ teasing...the fun kind

~ the ocean

~ my sunflower

~ duct tape and Big Wayne

~ NO HOMEWORK!!!

My Bestest Gal

2011-05-13T22:51:00.000-06:00

I find it kind of amusing, and slightly alarming, how much I miss my bestest gal when I'm away. I especially find the mornings hard...Neena 'snuggles' start my day off right and I struggle without her to focus me. So it rocked my world when I was suprised with some fantastic photo's half way through my trip...thanks so much Amanda...you really captured Crazy Pants in all her glory:).

Proud!

2011-04-27T17:11:00.000-06:00

I have barely talked to Michelle in almost a month...I miss her. A lot.

She did email me this link yesterday...I think she's worked hard on this and many of the photograph's used are hers. I am so very proud of her. She's an incredibly smart, talented, beautiful ambitious girl.

Another week of gifts

2011-04-25T18:28:00.000-06:00

#140 - 156 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ creative photography

~ that he rests his hand on my knee

~ an empty nest

~ the quiet

~ countdowns

~ choosing to work in peace

~ focus

~ a suprise attack hug Colton style

~ words that speak to my heart

~ Neena's smiles

~ lightbulb moments

~ 90's dance music

~ spring

~ playing chicken

~ the smell of fresh flowers

~ a blushing Warren

~ chocolate

A suprise!

2011-04-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

Flowers for the right reasons from the right person made my day today! They smell fabulous, and made studying just a little more bearable...Neena and I have a special thank-you in mind, you're gonna LOVE IT!!!!

Heavy Things

2011-04-20T21:59:00.000-06:00

Understanding that heavy things can't fly,

she let go of what was weighing on her heart,

the things she could no more control than carry,

and she gave herself a chance,

a chance to reach into the unassuming blue,

to embrace the possibility of an open sky,

with an open heart.

She gave herself a chance to soar.

-Jodi Hills, An Imperfect Life

I'm going to buy this book. Just as soon as I get a minute.

145

2011-04-17T21:06:00.000-06:00

145 cue cards that is...just for my bio lab exam last week. One down, three to go.

On another note...Neena and I participated in the dog demo at the Children's Festival on Saturday, Amanda put together a video montage of some of the events...if you watch close you'll catch us 'freestyling' our introductory loop. I was SO HAPPY with her...it was really scary, and she was pretty worried in the beginning. But once we got in the ring she managed to work through most of her fear, I still lost her a little when we were running...but I was thrilled with her focus on me while we waited for our turn. Man what a great feeling to see I'm doing the right things to help her, and that some of our work is paying off.

Farm Auction

2011-04-11T08:44:00.000-06:00

8AM - bright and early

Almost always time to goof around at Peters farms...

The three of us fed the cows...spoiled border collie!!!

9AM - Breakfast

11AM - Sale starts

The Peters gals toast the sale with Sheridan's :)

There was food...lots and lots of food. And a cake.

Then we shot some shit.

The boys decided Dad wasn't going to need this anymore...

Everyone gets a turn!

And I just realized I didn't get a single photograph of the boys smoking...hmpf. Wierd. Lol.

#117 - 129 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ my boys

~ their girls

~ being 'the daughter'

~ my brothers tears of laughter

~ hugs when I needed them most

~ the Meier family...and the foundation they laid for my path

~ John Deere

~ a movie date

~ the warmth of the sun

~ the past that's mine

~ honesty

~ moving forward

~ a pair of muddy cowgirl boots

Weekend Fun

2011-04-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

Oh ya...it was thrilling. I've been one Cranky gal. Luckily I had my little study buddies...

I was dogsitting Brit while Amanda was away at a trial...she is a real sweetheart. Wish I had better photos but my weekend photoshoot plans were kiboshed by mother nature. Hopefully I'll have another chance in the future!

#110 - 116 of a Thousand, Endless gifts

~ eyebrows that say more than words ever could

~ watching Colton grow up

~ a great steak supper, the hands that prepared it, and the family who shared it

~ tears for someone I loved and lost

~ a good snuggle

~ ridin' solo

~ cue cards and Sharpies

Can I interest you in a Ford?

2011-03-30T18:13:00.000-06:00

Too many other things on my mind to have thought about the farm equipment sale too much....I finally took a minute to browse the webpage today...it made me kinda sad.

The truth is the farm always makes me just a little sad...but what's important is Dad's happiness, and although I haven't had any time to help out I support him 100%. That being said...I bet your just dying to own this beautiful piece of Peters family history...mark April 9th on your calendar boys & girls!

This morning plans commenced for an 'after-sale-abration' Peters style...$20 there will be fire. And possibly a bottle of Sheridans. And very likely some shenanigans...I might pack my helmet lol.

Ah, I do love my little rednecked family. The make your heart ache kind.

"The Interview"

2011-03-28T22:36:00.001-06:00

I would really like a day…just a day…to catch my breath. Unfortunately, I don’t see that opportunity in my foreseeable future. Sigh. Especially after I got my biology mark for the midterm I wrote Friday...it was unacceptable. I mixed up meiosis and mitosis…yeesh, that’s baby stuff. I’m annoyed and I need to put on my big girl panties and get serious about this last month of school.

April 30th will be here before I know it and THEN maybe I can catch my breath! Maureen and I are planning a road trip to Chilliwack/the Island in May; I am very excited…I’ll have a chance to visit with my Oma, and for some R&R. And the ocean! I love the ocean!

Anyways…I’m rambling…sure indicator of exhaustion ;)…

So…the UCVM interview. Nancy took a 'headed off to my interview' pic for me...I think I look goofy, but that's totally me and not the photographer's fault lol.

Got this when I registered, I thought it was pretty cool...

Although being Ms still makes me feel funny...need to hurry the heck up so I can be Dr. Peters instead!

Anyways, what an experience. There were 8 mini-interview stations where you were given 2 minutes to read a scenario and brainstorm your answer. Then you were given 8 minutes to ‘answer’ the scenario to two interviewers. The interviewers were not allowed to speak to you, nor could you ask them questions...I felt like I had a few ‘cringe-worthy’ moments, but I’m also happy with a few of my answers. Overall, I find it incredibly hard to say how that part went. Part two was a 750 word essay on a current issues topic we were given one hour to write. I’m not happy with mine, I felt like my arguments were poorly developed and worse I feel like my ‘solutions’ were weak. Blah. On a positive note, I definitely felt like the English course I took has improved my writing.

It was draining but I gave it my best. Now my focus need to change…I still want to be positive (not only because I’ll hear about it if I’m not...)…but I also need to be realistic. And I’m still not quite sure how to meld the two…even though I’ve had lots of advice on the matter:). The truth is I should be thrilled…I met my goal for this year…but I’m struggling with impatience. I don’t WANT to wait another year. I want to get ON with my life. And it annoys the heck out of me that my future feels like it’s in some strangers’ hands. BAH!!!! Just last week my roommate was denied entrance into both the master’s programs she had applied for…she had plans, and goals, and dreams…and she works her butt off…it really sucks. But she's also showing me how to turn it into something positive...she's going to get that puppy she's been putting off lol.

But…no sense getting myself all worked up about it…I need to focus on finishing school strong, and then I am just going to try and forget about the whole thing until June. We’ll see how that goes lol.

# 96 - 109 of A thousand, Endless Gifts
~ watching Neena destroy the pristine snow covered backyard in about 30 seconds
~ bananas & nibs

~ daily editions…and that you took the chance to send them

~ a support network like I've never had before

~ track changes

~ hugs

~ family...both kinds!

~ coming home to a happy dog

~ playlists that make me giggle

~ chance meetings at the High River Subway

~ my iPhone

~ a joke about a helmet and crayons...wow...lol

~ a future full of possibility and promise...and a today that's pretty great too...

Three more sleeps...

2011-03-23T21:19:00.000-06:00

Eeek...

But first...I gotta get through a Bio 1020 lab quiz and lecture midterm:).

Feedlot Humor

2011-03-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

Spring melt...is making our weekly 'fecal pat' sampling a bit of a challenge to say the least. Trying to walk through the pens without losing a boot is high priority, so I've been stuffing the samples in my pockets to keep my hands free. Today it caught me funny...

Some gals use socks...but I just always gotta do it my way;).

Booties & Cookies

2011-03-21T08:00:00.053-06:00

This week I wanted to give Neena's pad time to heal so we worked a lot on tricks. I chose 'up' for this month's trick, essentially I'm asking her to rest her paws on me or a chair. Its kind of cheating, we'd already been learning it, but March is already half over and it still needs some work (my fault, not hers!).

Preparing for walk has become quite the production, Neena's been wearing a booty until her pad is healed, and my pockets are overflowing with baggies, cookies, toys and my iPod. We've had some good training opportunities with buses, trucks, and other city noises. Friday she actually had a full-on shaking in her booty meltdown. I'm not sure if I just never noticed them before, or if she was having a bad day, or if she's just a little more sensitive lately. We were only 3 blocks from home, and by then I'd ran out of cookies (insert curse word here)...I tried to help her recover the best I could before we moved on. Was it perfect, nope...did she fully recover, nope. Lesson learned...bring more cookies.

So that's another week in the life of one Crazy Pants. And just because it seems like I've seen and talked about unhappy Neena a lot lately...a random happy photo. I wish I knew what she was laughing at...

As for me...on top of midterms, I've been trying to prepare for The Interview. I've talked to a few people, came up with lists of questions they could potentially ask, and Maureen and I went shopping:). For the next week...my attitude is I am already the #1 pick for the UCVM class of 2015, Saturday is my opportunity to prove them right (insert tummy butterflies here).

I've also been trying to come up with a Interview Day playlist...I hope it will help with the nerves and keep me from overthinking:). Although I know I have to be careful or I'll end up in tears lol. I've been listening to Paul Brandt before exams, for years I've played "Small Town, Big Dreams" on the way to the race track. Each time I think about the racers I cheer for, who I believe in. Its my way of wishing them luck, and supporting their dream...even if they don't know it:). Now I'm playing it for ME. For me.

Anyways, Michelle informed me this week we need to celebrate so Saturday night she's taking me 'dancing' (quotations because we all know what a 'great' dancer I'm not lol)...look out Cowtown;)!

#82 - 95 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ study dates

~ coffee

~ being the third wheel

~ rubber boots and coveralls

~ Neena's bouncy ear tips

~ learning how to say NO without feeling bad

~ pajama's

~ a returning roommate

~ fevers that break

~ summer road trip plans

~ friends who will always tell the truth
~ bath beers

~ Google
~ morning snuggles...Neena style

Front Right Owwie

2011-03-15T22:27:00.000-06:00

Neena had a front right paw go down Saturday.

Any good racer knows that the front right is pretty important for proper handling...and Neena's is that much MORE important to me. I'm annoyed with myself...I should have caught it sooner and then I should have watched it closer. Bad Jen!

Anyways, playing 'doctor' to Neena has been an adventure...I've been 'trying' to soak it in an epsom salt bath and generally keeping it clean. She's pretty sure the bowl is full of acid...seriously, does absolutely everything have to be drama lol?

Ah Neena...what would I ever do without you to keep me on my toes...

On another note...her new favorite toy is my yoga mat. Nerd.

Monday Morning Edition

2011-03-14T08:00:00.001-06:00

The insanity continues, I ran myself down last weekend and spent most of the past week trying to get myself feeling 100% again. That being said, I am trying to be good about time-management and balance...there are something's that I just simply want and need to make time for. And this video is a good reminder of one of my highest priorities...my bestest girl!

Its still hard to watch, it looks like I'm beating her:(. I promise I'm not...'normal' Neena likes to play rough, but I see now she's not going to engage in play with me when she's at this point (duh!!!). I need to teach her she has other options when she's faced with scary situations.

It makes me sad, I know better. I am better. And my laziness has allowed Neena to live like this for 3 years. I can teach her to recover, I can give her other options when she's worried in a situation. And I will. On that day I'll look back at this video and both wish I'd done it so much sooner and celebrate how far we've come.

Amanda talked to me last weekend about having goals...believe it or not I haven't had any firm 'goals' for Neena and I beyond "lets have fun". I spent some time this week thinking about goals, the trial, and all the things I've learned in the last 2 years...and I came up with a few goals. I'm excited about them...they are doable, and they will make her healthier and happier.

So goal #1 - teaching Neena to recover. Specifically, we are going to conquer our fear of city buses and air brakes and I want to make a noticeable change by the end of summer. I have a plan...its 'trainer approved'...well not officially lol...its a lot of what Sarah, Amanda, and a few others I trust, have already taught me and talked to me about. I will explain it better sometime...right now I'm just a little short on time:).

Goal #2 - is tied in with #1, I want to teach Neena one new trick each month for the next 6 months. Ideas are welcome:).

Goal #3 - to get our Agility Dog of Canada title. To get your ADC you need to have three starter standard runs...we have one. I believe we can accomplish this in 2011...however I'm not sure I ever want to trial with qualifying being the goal...so I'm by no means firm on that deadline. We will do it our way...in our time...even if that's the long way around;). That being said, we are also close to our Starter Games Dog of Canada (SGDC)...and I think that would also be neat.

Goal #4 - jogging for 20 minutes three times a week. This is to improve both of our fitness...I'm still working out the plan...but I'll get there...

Phew...speaking of time-management...I'm out of blogging time:). Til next week!

#70 - 81 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ wind free days and the promise of spring

~ biology!!!

~ 6:30am wake-up calls from Dad

~ seeing the kids I used to babysit have grown into some really amazing people

~ the opportunity to keep cheering for those same kids

~ kongs

~ homemade nanaimo bars

~ my nephew's giggle

~ a snuggle for Auntie Jen...gosh I love being an Auntie...I forget sometimes...

~ quality time with the sis;)

~ blog stalkers...you know who you are

~ learning to accept what I can't change

FEO - updated!

2011-03-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

*video link added below*

Ever had one of those weeks where it seems like EVERYTHING happens at the same time...this is the condensed version of my last week:

Monday - a door opens, stay tuned...I'm keeping it a suprise (its killing me!) but its BIG! Almost as big as my vet interview...*claps hands in glee*...can't wait, can't wait, can't WAIT!!!

Tuesday - got 2 midterms back...Yay for one...Yeesh for the other. Mail from Mack Daddy. Neena wows me at agility class with some impressive distance work!

Wednesday - The boss springs an interesting but VERY last minute blood sampling project on us. Doctor says I DO have a heart and it ISN'T broken after all lol!

Thursday - BIG day...harassed a prof. Get my vet interview via email. Then had to re-focus to write a biology lab exam. Changed the name on my BSc to Peters. Get home to find Colton's new Dale Jr T-shirt and my divorce papers in the mail.

Friday - Dad calls to say he's selling the farm equipment this spring. Pack for the weekend and fly to High River for a puppay partay.

Saturday/Sunday - Training Troop Trial!

Its been insane, and truthfully by Thursday I was already feeling a little frazzled. By that I mean exhausted and emotional.

As for the agility trial, I had set some goals for the weekend. I wanted to have fun with Neena and continue to work at our trialing nerves, man we sure got our practise at that!

At its worst, Neena was literally shaking and panting with fear and stress. Its incredibly difficult for me to watch, and after the week I'd had it was too much...Saturday I started melting down too. I needed to calm down and re-group, and while I did that Sarah took Neena for a little relaxation masssage too.

The new goal became having her stay with me without being totally terrified during our 'for exhibit only' (aka FEO) versions of the courses:). Was it pretty? Hell no. Was it fun? Not really. Was it 'good' for us? Yep.

And as hard as it was, I know Neena's better at recovering than she was a year ago. Several times she chose to come back to me when I know she would have rather ran out of the arena. That's a huge improvement from the last major trial melt-down! And after most of our runs I found her a lot more willing to work for me and offer behaviors instead of focusing on the scary surroundings.

I learned a ton...always so much to learn...and I don't feel defeated. Sad to know how scary life is to my bestest gal, you bet. But defeated, no way! I've got a lot to apply, a lot to try, and a lot to think about.

On another note...Amanda let me run Wicca Sunday morning which was a very clever and sneaky way to give me a little confidence boost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-DuNFlm7Qo

This video makes me laugh so hard, I look so stiff and uptight. Really I was just trying to be conscious of my shoulders, I wanted to be clear what I was asking her, but I focused a little too much on that and not enough on other parts:). It was still SUPER fun, Wicca is a fun dog.

Thanks Amanda!

#61 - 69 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ snail mail

~ watching a mom read to her son in a waiting room

~ a little bit stronger...every day

~ learning to believe

~ memories

~ my fan club

~ Neena's fan club

~ opportunities

~ closure

A little bit closer...

2011-03-03T17:01:00.002-07:00

March 3, 2011

Re: DOCTOR OF VETERINARY MEDICINE PROGRAM INTERVIEW OFFER

Thank you for applying to the University of Calgary Faculty of Veterinary Medicine (UCVM), Doctor of Veterinary Medicine Program. I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected for an interview.

Your interview will be held on March 26, 2011 in the MORNING session.

Multiple Mini Interview
Your interview will begin at 9:00am and will consist of a series of interviews and an onsite essay.

On behalf of UCVM, thank you again for applying and we look forward to seeing you at the MMI.

Yours sincerely,
Alastair Cribb DVM PhD
Dean

Love Letter to Neena

2011-03-01T20:48:00.001-07:00

In the mail today...

Dear Neena,

Since we have been together for over a year now, I thought you would like a bedside pic of me. I have so much fun with you and you have such a hot slender body and I don't mind that you scratch at the door once in a while. I hope I can see you this weekend.

I *paw* you
Mack Daddy

Compost and other odds & ends...

2011-02-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

From: An Alberta Girl's sister...guess that kinda makes her an Alberta Girl too huh...
To: An Alberta Girl
Sent: Sun Feb 27 08:46:03
Subject: Last wishes

This an exercise so that we (family) know what your dying wishes are… nothing legal if you have a will already but good for us to know if you want to be cremated or buried. Please complete and send back.

From: Two Alberta Girls
To: An Alberta Girl's sister
Sent: Sun Feb 27 09:25:25 2011
Subject: Re: Last wishes

Good morning

I would prefer to be composted to reduce my carbon foot print.

I want the cows that I have eaten to be nourished from my body. I would like the dirt spread in a serene meadow pasture.

Since my hair and hip bones will not be completely composted I would like them ground up and put in the flower bed for calcium and phosphorus to nourish your sunflowers so you will think of me.

Your sister

From: An Alberta Girl's sister
To: An Alberta Girl
Received: later that morning
Subject: Re: Re: Last wishes

Would you like to be composted with my fruit?

Seriously...we laughed until we cried.

On another note...the semester is half over! However the next two months are going to be insane...I took some time over reading week, and I'm rested and ready. Two months of working hard and I can play hard...because when the semester is done it will be RACE SEASON!!!! Weeeee....

AND...Neena and I got into the Training Troop Trial this weekend. We are entered in 3 events each day...and I am really trying to keep myself too busy to think about it. I only need to remember one thing...Plan A!!! I do, however, have a couple ideas to help us with our trial nerves. I wonder what Neena will be like on gin;)?

#45 - 60 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ listening to a 2 year old count for me

~ margarita's and a dark corner booth

~ nephew's

~ church bells

~ toast

~ a fairly reliable call-off ;)

~ snow sparkling in the sunlight

~ my carhardts

~ newborn calves

~ a random I love you text from my lil brother

~ laughing until you cry

~ freezing your fingies for science

~ a little R&R

~ being productive

~ anticipation

~ a breakfast table set for me

Five

2011-02-24T08:00:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday DJ!

This year it hit me that you talk. You talk. In sentences! Truth is you probably have for a couple years now. Your growing up...and from the photo's your mom gave us you're growing up happy and healthy.

That makes me happy.

#33 - 44

2011-02-21T20:00:00.018-07:00

#33 - 44 of a Thousand, Endless gifts

~ girl talk over ice cream

~ a man who tells me to keep my chin up

~ an A-

~ my magic bag

~ breakfast dates

~ coffee break manicures

~ heartaches that will never fully heal...for the right reasons

~ my crazy father...

~ the opportunity to give back to those I've taken from

~ having lived to watch the black #3 race

~ an afternoon spent with racers

~ cheering from the penalty box

Go Flyers!

2011-02-19T21:01:00.001-07:00

Today I finally caught one of my cousin Matthew's hockey games.

Its hard, there's a huge age gap between my cousins and I...but I think I've managed to build a bit of a relationship with each of them and I enjoy them all, I really do. But Matthew...I spent hours with him as an infant, and then even more as he grew into a toddler. When Victoria was born, I stayed home with him and then I stayed and helped as much as I could the following month while she was in the NICU. We eventually ended up living together...the point is we have a lot of history, and I've loved this child with all my heart.

I haven't been able to spend as much time with him over the last years, and really...I'm not sure how much he remembers anymore...but we still have pet names for each other, he still giggles about the time he poo'd on me as a baby, and he still picks #13 for his hockey number. It warms my heart.

Warm Up

Starting line...center position...wooo!

Size gap...sheesh...reminds me of another kid I cheer for.

Focused...its insane how focused a 12 year old can be.

An assist for #13!

Matthew's been having a good year, as of this morning he was leading the team stats. They tied, unfortunately they needed to win this game to get into the playoffs, but they played a good game! Sometimes I think that's a win of its own...good job Flyers!

Life and Times of Crazy J

2011-02-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

So happy, I have some down time to catch up on school, and my house, maybe take a few photographs...and most importantly to spend some time with Neena, she's been really patient with me this week! She's such a good girl! Its funny, I think I'm almost to the point where the thought of living on my own doesn't freak me out...but Neena really likes having my roommates around, and they have all been great with her!

Midterms...well my bio midtem went well, and chem went ok too I think. Biochem, is turning into my new calculus sans a fantastic tutor. I want to pull out my hair. I want to scream. Blah. My time management is probably the best its ever been, but the truth is I could still work harder, I really need to hunker down. Its just not very fun. On the vet school front, I'll know in 2 weeks whether I get an interview from the U of C or not...I'm trying very hard to not think about it.

Bought my first 'big girl' bed yesterday...its funny how buying your 'own' stuff can feel so great. And its not owning the stuff...its the fact that I'm taking care of myself on my little Ab Ag salary. Jen's Life Truth #313...I will never be financially dependant on someone else again. Hahahaha...funny song I've been rocking out to lately, it makes me smile...Grandma, you might just want to skip this...

Daytona 500 tomorrow...oh my gosh am I ever excited! Don't tell Dustin & Tabitha but I ordered Colton a Dale Jr t-shirt...can't wait until it gets here!

So ya, overall things are going pretty good in the world of Crazy J and Crazy Pants. I know I worried some people a few weeks ago, I don't post blogs like that on a whim...I get they are pretty personal and they can come across as attention seeking...but I found this quote this week:

"For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness." - Reba McEntire

Nobody wants to hear me sing;)......but I have my own ways of healing.

On that note, I sometimes just can't help myself...the other day on a walk I got caught belting out this song..

You should try it sometime...you can really exaggerate the twang in the chorus AND there are some pretty fun 'air guitar' parts...betcha can't do it without laughing at yourself;).

Race Report - Feb 12, 2011

2011-02-13T21:14:00.001-07:00

Going to try to keep this short...I've been/I am just a wee bit busy. Quickly, the weekend...it was really great to visit Paul & Rita Friday night. I hadn't seen them since they moved to Calgary last summer, man do kids ever grow fast!

I've been spoiled staying at Andy & Nancy's, it was a long drive from the SE to the Fezdome Saturday morning:). Neena was really excited to get to the trail...its amazing how 40lbs of border collie can rock a sunflower lol. We ran a jumpers course almost right away, she was starting to get a little worried at the startline but Amanda helped me pump her up and off we went. It was a good run, she wasn't quite as happy as I would have liked to see her but she stayed with me and I think we had fun.

We Q'd and this is where I fess up to a blonde moment...I thought we needed 3 starter's jumpers Q's before we moved to advanced...we only needed 2, ooops:). Turns out we are also in advanced gamblers! Anyways, our gamble was the last class of the day, I tried to get Neena out every hour or so for a little walk and fun time but by early/mid afternoon she was starting to get worried. I started to get worried. Stupid girl emotions.

I finally took her outside, ran down the road with her like a mad woman, smacked her around a few times and she decided it was game on. We had a good little session of tug and fetch and were both a lot happier and relaxed after.

Our gamble...she was still struggling so I tried to find a course with flow that would let her do the obstacles she likes best. I thought for a second I was going to lose her at the startline, she was thinking about running out of the ring. But she stayed with me and although it was 'technically' ugly I really didn't care. She ran with me and didn't melt down completely. I'm proud of her for working through it.

It was still emotionally and physically draining...I was tired and cold by the time we were done, and I struggled a little after we left. Agility is something fun for us to do together, its good for her and its good for me. At what point do I say this part isn't fun for us? I'm not convinced we are there yet...after all look how far she's come in a year...but I wonder.

Anyways, we had a High River sleep over last night. The kids had a puppay partay all night and most of Sunday while the beautiful, ambitious gal and I had a study partay. Believe it or not we were surprisingly productive...for real!

Sheesh...this turned out longer than I had planneed! Its going to be a crazy, busy, long week...but I still wanted to squeeze this in:

#22 - 32 of a Thousand, Endless gifts

~ sun dogs

~ holy hell its cold socks

~ cattle liners

~ audio streaming

~ puppies

~ spooning with Mack Daddy

~ Neena asleep at my hip...as in touching me...on her own free will lol

~ pole position TWICE!

~ cutting grapefruit with a necropsy knife

~ open door policies

Drive with Emotion!

2011-02-07T20:49:00.001-07:00

Neena and I had the opportunity to play at Terry Simon's seminar yesterday morning.  I was curious to see how she reacted to him this year, last year she was scared...but she thought he was kind of funny this time:). It was another example of her increased self-confidence...so happy for her!

She is such a good girl, I feel like in a lot of ways agility has been easy for us, we both learn pretty quickly and she reads my body language very well...its fun to run her, and see all the places we could have oopsed...but didn't because we are a team. You know what, its even fun to oops with her.

Our session with Terry focused largely on giving your dog direction through body language, in fact we weren't allowed to speak for the most part. He stressed we should 'drive your dog with your emotion'...so very true. The timing was only a little ironic after the past couple weeks:). There was lots to absorb and lots to learn, he challenged me to handle a course with all front crosses, and I realized I've become lazy in my handling...to Neena's detriment.  Note to self...DO MORE FRONT CROSSES:)!

I wish I could have participated in more of the weekend, but considering everything I have going on I feel I made a pretty good compromise. School makes it a challenge, we got into the Calgary trial this weekend, but I also have two midterm's next week...eek! I decided to split the difference, Saturday at the trial, Sunday at the library:), and there is still a chance Neena will play Sunday with Sarah & Amanda...it depends on a few things.  I am a little torn, I want to run her...I just can't do it right now.  In the meantime, if there's an opportunity for her to have fun and play agility, I want to give it to her. But if she stays, you can bet I'll be waiting impatiently for my race report:).

#9 - 21 of a Thousand, Endless Gifts

~ a quiet spot

~ a Mom who understands

~ country music

~ a wealth of friends

~ laughter

~ smelly stuff, like compost and manure
~ the chance to cheer from the sidelines
~ a morning outdoors...with only my Carhardts and the cattle for company
~ more than a few good men
~ kids in the candy aisle
~ learning to be alone
~ calculus...yep...I know...
~ a tired Crazy Pants

Little Miss Coincidence?

2011-02-04T21:51:00.002-07:00

I've been using my Tuesday and Thursday mornings to study at the university library...I try to be there just after 8, and that gives me a good 2 1/2 hours before class. Sure it makes for a long day, but watching the sun come up with a coffee in my hand and a little country music in my ear have been some of my best moments lately.

Country music...well its a little strange how often I seem to stumble on a song that will be meaningful to me just when I need it. Yesterday morning this song came on the radio as I drove to school. It's like my own personal kick in the butt...just what I need;).

Numb

2011-01-31T22:51:00.007-07:00

Blah. Where to start.

I've been in a...we'll call it a slump...

I knew I'd had some rough days, that's kinda human though right? Overall I thought I'd been doing pretty good. I know winter is always a little challenging for me, but I had a plan! I started taking Vitamin D in September. Last month I bought a 'happy lamp'. Yep. I've been keeping myself occupied and entertained and as far as time and life would allow I've been doing everything I thought I should to keep myself healthy, positive and happy.

I've been trying. I promise.

But the other day at the agility trial, it was Sarah and Amanda who played with Neena first. And normally that wouldn't bother me at all...except it hadn't even crossed my mind to play with her. Heck, I hadn't even brought a toy.

I hadn't even brought a toy.

I know I know, sounds like a silly thing to freak out about right? But it was more than just a blonde moment…trust me, I have plenty of those and I have NO problem owning up to them. I was totally spaced out...and as I started thinking back over the past months…there were so many days, events, moments, where I've gone through the motions…but I haven't really been 'there'.

And I although I was thinking “this is not how I want to live my life” and “this is not the gal I want to be”...I felt numb. And absolutely drained. I had no idea how, and worse no energy to pick up the pieces...again. I wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. Or cry in a bucket of Ben & Jerry's...just for you Sherry;)...you have so much faith in me...its humbling.

Anyways, it’s been a messy, ugly couple of weeks. For now Priority #1 is to take better care of myself...sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Priority #2 is Neena, it’s been a blow to realize just how far I tuned out on her…and it hurts that for now its a conscious effort to give her what she deserves. She makes life so easy...its me that makes it so hard. With a little work, hopefully the rest will fall in place too.

In the meantime, I’ve handled a lot of situations really badly. I’ve turned moments that were intended to make me smile into drama. I’ve let comments that I normally would have blown off hurt me. I've dragged others down with me. And I’ve lashed out in fear, pain and anger. I’m disappointed in myself, but at this point I need to stop focusing on that, and start focusing on one step at a time.

That being said...I wanted to do this the beginning of the year...but as I do oh so often, I over thought it and let it slide. There's a writer named Ann Voskamp who wrote a book called "One Thousand Gifts"...every Monday she adds to her 'a Thousand, Endless Gifts' list...today she entered #2218 on her blog.

I think it will be a good way to help me stay positive, and it’s also something I hope I can commit to even with my crazy schedule. So I'm gonna try to keep my own "One Thousand Gifts" list...we'll see if I always post it here...but its a start.

(p.s. this is in no particular order, its just whatever pops into my head.)

#1-9 of my Thousand, Endless Gifts
~ a border collie who walks with me
~ laundry warm from the dryer

~ the beautiful ambitious girl

~ strength to 'ride it out'

~ touch therapy

~ a bubble bath and a good book

~ a friend who I vicariously live through

~ brothers I can lean on
~ friends who have Neena's back

$24,000

2011-01-28T20:26:00.007-07:00

I filed my divorce papers today.

I didn't cry...but I've cried. I never 'wanted' to be a divorcee. I never 'wanted' to be a failure. I never 'wanted' to hurt myself, or my ex, or my friends and family. I never 'wanted' any of this.

But I've also never 'wanted' the opportunity to go back.

Sure I could have stayed. I could have lots of pretty 'things'...in fact he currently has $24,000 sitting in the joint account he refuses to close. Instead I gave up my financial stability and wealth. I gave up my plans for a family. I opened myself up for criticism, judgement and condemnation.

The alternative was to waste our time. I could have lived a lie. I could have caused even more hurt and pain. And I have no doubt in my mind I would have.

Instead I chose to give us both a chance at a real future.

I don't have to explain my decision to anyone...its sometimes hard for people to understand anyways. What is important is I have peace in my heart.

And to me, that's worth more than $24,000.

Stuck

2011-01-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when one fearless farm girl (not me!) buys a 4x4.

I took my turn shoveling too...no worries. This kinda behavior is what gives gal drivers a bad name...we abused this poor truck. But we also dug ourselves out when we got stuck. And I think that says a lot about the kind of gals we are.

Weekend Adventures

2011-01-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Neena and I headed up to visit Michelle & Mack Friday night...much fun was had by all...I found some photographic evidence on my phone the next day...

We visited with Michelle's landlord...there was some silliness..."Little Temple" drives a hard bargain...

But he's also a retired veterinarian and we got to talking about vet school. He told me I'd better go to vet school, but he also told me I'm a cute little thing...so I'm not sure how much stock I'm going to put in that opinion lol.

Saturday morning Neena and I headed to the Training Troop Trial in Balzac, she started prancing in the back seat while we parked. We walked right into the arena, through the scary entrance...under the scary mezzanine...and then she saw Amanda and got all wiggly. It was very cute!

She was upbeat and happy the whole time, she did get a little worried from time to time, but no more than how she gets at the entrance to our own agility arena. I/we could always get her to play, or do a trick, or say hi...it was awesome!

You can see...she's just a little worried here...but she's about as relaxed as Neena ever is in a busy situation, and she's still smiling!

What a relief...and yep...I promise one of these days I will start trusting her. She deserves it...over and over she proves she's stronger than I give her credit for. Gosh I heart this dog...

The next step...

2011-01-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today is a big day…first, I started my next (last?) semester of pre-requisite hell. Here’s the thing...maybe I’m fooling myself, but I’m really not enjoying ‘this part’ of my educational journey. I keep telling myself there will be classes that I don’t love at vet school, but I also think it will be more like college…courses I’m interested in and where I can see the application! However there’s this little voice in the back of my head that says…Peters…you’re a fool…

Anywho…I’m actively ignoring that voice at the moment.

This semester I’m enrolled in chemistry, biology, and biochemistry. Between 12 hours of lecture and 6 hours of lab time per week it’s going to be busy. Kim, my boss, has been great helping me juggle work and school; I’m only working about 20hrs/week this semester. I’m hoping that will help with the stress level although I’m a little disappointed too, Murphy’s Law that we are doing work at the feedlot that I’m missing out on.

Second reason today is a big day…my vet school application is in the mail. Holy smokes was writing that baby stressful. YOU try to describe your job in 50 well written words. Also grammar has never ever been my strength, last night I was wishing I’d asked my English prof to proofread it for me. And while there are a lot of strengths in my application, I couldn’t help but notice all the gaps. The reality of the situation is my grades are ok but not excellent, I have a lot of good qualifications but I should have more veterinarian experience, and my competition is fierce. My chances of getting in this year are pretty slim, I’ve known that all along, and set my goal for this year at an interview. I should know about that by the beginning of March.

So then what? It came up in a conversation with a friend the other day...what if you don’t get an interview or in? My response...

“Try, try again…I’m a stubborn bitch! And I’ll spend the next year strengthening my application and driving them crazy;)”

Look out U of C...I almost feel sorry for you lol...almost...

Indoor Trials

2011-01-09T09:59:00.002-07:00

Its been a year since Neena's melt-down at the Training Troop trial.  In December the premium came out for this years January trial, and while I really wanted to enter, I honestly wasn't sure what was best for Neena.  Did I enter her and risk a repeat?

At the same time, we've come so far since then! She's had minor melt-downs and managed to work through them (the monster truck at the Whoop Up Days demo), and the August trial was an outright success! Every day she gains just a little more confidence...and I'm so happy to see it.  I think a majority of it was a time thing, she's really grown up this past year, but I also like to think at least a small part of it was because of things I've done to help her (usually at the suggestion from some really amazing friends!).

But she is still worried and fearful at some point on most of our walks through the city. I actually refuse to only off-leash walk her for that reason, it seems like if I don't keep her working/walking in the city we lose some ground. City buses, loud trucks...oh my today was a nightmare with all the snowplows...still make her visibly scared. Somedays its hard not the think a different owner, a more experienced trainer, might be able to bring her farther. I feel like I'm not helping her reach her full potential...its hard...but then I smack myself and remind myself there are other reasons why we are meant to be each others:).

Bottom line...we've come a long way, but I know we still have work to do..and I accept (maybe wrongly) that there will always be certain triggers for her. And in general she's been more comfortable at outdoor events...so I wasn't sure I could go to an indoor trial without the fear of a repeat in my mind, and even if she was ok, that my fears would fuel hers.

I ended up asking Sarah what to do...she told me to enter her in 2 of her favorite events each day, and to pretend I'd never been there before:). Unfortunately, the trial is very popular and we didn't get in...I'm still considering driving up this weekend anyways, I think it might be really good for both of us! It would be nice to give her a chance to chill out at the arena without any pressure to perform.  And I could go and stop being a silly emotional girl. And...AND...we could cheer on our friends! That's always fun too!

Anyways, still on the fence about this weekend, and I'm also trying to decide what to do about the February Calgary trial. I already know I have a chem midterm the following Tuesday, and after the whole midterm after Vegas fiasco...yeeesh...maybe I'll enter one day. Or maybe I'll run her one day and beg Sarah to run her the other? LOL!

Courage

2011-01-05T17:39:00.001-07:00

Found this today...I like it...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." Mary Anne Radmacher

Puppy Partay

2011-01-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Michelle and Mack came down for what we like to call a puppy partay...Yee Haw! Fun was had by all...although its really hard for us to get up to our regular photographic mischief when its -15C outside;). Some of these are mine, and some are Michelle's...dare you to guess who's are who's lol!

Mack (aka Mack Daddy) Portraits

Neena (aka Crazy Pants...I've been giggling about that for days, thanks Amanda!) Portraits

(this one doesn't count...Michelle obviously took it!)

I think they look like a happily married couple in this pic.

"Bouncing is what Tiggers do best"

We do the best with the camera's/lenses we have...but the truth is Michelle and I have lens lust...we both have plans for an upgrade, hopefully sooner than later!

3 Years!

2011-01-01T16:02:00.001-07:00

I know I know...2 blogs in one day...what the heck right? But today is Neena's 3 years in her furever home anniversary!

We went for a celebratory walk this afternoon...and I'm totally annoyed, I didn't check the settings on my camera so my photographs suck. I suck.

But Neena kinda sucks too...apparently she wasn't impressed that I had the camera attached to my face when I could have been playing with her. The brat smacked the camera and knocked my contact out lol.

Three years is its still never boring!

Vision Board v.1.0

2011-01-01T10:00:00.001-07:00

About a month after I moved out, the beautiful ambitious girl decided 'we' needed to make vision boards. So one Thursday night, while watching Grey's Anatomy, she glued pictures out of magazines to her board, and I made a list of photo's I wanted to put on mine. Over the next couple weeks I set creating my vision board, it worked to my advantage that I was taking a photography class around the same time...and I continued to add the occasional item over the following winter. However, I never fully finished it, and I haven't added anything since the inspiration point photo...so when the beautiful ambitious girl mentioned not long ago we needed to make new vision boards, it got me thinking and I had to agree.

I haven't shared it with too many people...it seemed too personal. But its been on my bedroom wall all this time and while some my goals remain the same (e.g. vet school), some of them I/we have accomplished (e.g. Neena's weaving), and some of them have simply changed (e.g....not telling...that'll be v.2.0). Instead of a reminder of where I'm headed, it feels more like a reminder of where I've been. So I want to record it, I never want to forget who I was or where I was during this time of my life, and then I'm going to start the next version.

And while I try to avoid the whole New Years resolution thingy...it sorta felt like a good way to kick off a new year! That being said, Happy New Year! All my best in 2011!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-28T01:31:00.001-07:00

Ya know...I wanted to take more photo's this Christmas...but the truth is my heart just wasn't in it. Not that I didn't have a good Christmas! Mom & Glen took us to a cabin in the Crowsnest Pass for a weekend...it turned out I had to write an exam on the Saturday afternoon and I will admit it was both a relief and VERY sweet when my little brother waited to drive me up...I was absolutely exhausted. Actually I have to say some of my favorite memories from this Christmas are spending some one-on-one time with Warren. We got into some pretty deep conversations...and then since we were the 'singles' we got delegated to the room with the twin beds and stayed up late giggling like little kids. Anyways, the mountains are always a nice get-away...full of R&R, hot tubbing and goofing off.

This photo of Warren and I is a little blurry...but I heart it anyway...

Christmas Eve is Dad's birthday so we went on a 'date' to watch Little Fockers. My dad, what a guy...I'm 99% sure he wanted to watch it just so he could say Little Fockers like 15,000 times...but hey, it was his party lol!

Christmas Day...I stayed home and hung out with Neena...this semester was pretty tough on both of us and it has been SO nice to have some daylight hours to play outside with her. We went for a walk with a friend and her dogs...then she came over in the evening for a visit.

Boxing Day was Christmas with Mom's family...its always cheerful chaos. I really enjoy the kiddo's...its fun to remember who they were a year ago...and how much they've grown and changed. And I never had a sister so it absolutely kills me to watch Victoria & Sydney bicker...LOL! I also managed to steal my newest cousin Jaxon for more than my fair share of baby snuggling:).

Finally...today...well I guess yesterday now...started with some crazy border collie action. Neena went to Amanda's while we were in the mountains and now she is BFF's with Amanda's foster dog Davie, its very cute. Thanks for the great photo's Amanda!

Later we had Christmas with Dad. Dustin & Tabitha hosted this year...it's nice to have some other gals to help with the planning/preparation. Although the boys will ALWAYS be in charge of the turkey...no WAY I want that responsibility, especially after today's near disaster! Halfway through cooking the turkey the burner died...it was pretty tense for a couple minutes...in the end the guys stole parts off Warren's truck and managed to get it running. And then we proceeded to giggle through supper about how they saved the Christmas turkey with a little help from GMC. I actually might not have blogged about Christmas at all except the boys are pretty good sports about having a camera in their faces all the time...and there was a grumbled comment about how "that had better make your blog" lol.

Its been nice to spend some extra time with Colton over the holidays...it was pretty cute, we all had to give him rides on the John Deere trike Dad bought him for Christmas. Its really not that surprising Dad nearly dumped the poor kid off taking a corner too fast. I guess its kinda like the saying...you can take the racer outta the car...

And I had to take a few photo's of Dad's birthday cake...I seriously don't think I've made a better cake in my life...

Yummo!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I hope all my family and friends have happy holidays...filled with laughter, silliness, and contentment...surrounded by those they love...both human and/or canine;).

The final hours...

2010-12-12T22:07:00.003-07:00

The first page of my last calculus assignment, don't worry if it looks like Greek to you, it does to me too!

In 15 hours I write my final, I get 3 hours and I already know I will run short on time. Man I've struggled with this course, its just not something I'm 'good at'. Actually, lately I feel like I'm not doing a good job of anything. I'm struggling to remember thats not true, I am good at lots of things. I've never really experienced this kind of stress before, my grades were always 'good enough'. Its hard not to play the 'if I'd only known' game, my GPA could be so much higher...and I'm definitely feeling the pressure. Every bad grade decreases my odds of getting into vet school...sigh.

Ok Peters...that's about enough whining...

BREATHE!

Vegas Photo's...

2010-12-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

Ok...so its more like 1...but it makes me laugh so hard! Mostly because I appear just a wee bit manic...what can I say...I'm a fan...and it was Vegas!

I also made KISS sing to me...and I'm pretty sure I mighta kissed them...but I'm a little foggy on the details ;)!!!

Las Vegas 2009 Blurb Book

2010-12-05T21:47:00.001-07:00

In October Mom and I went on away on our annual scrapbooking trip. I was (am) struggling with calculus at the time, and my brain was too fried to do much actual scrapbooking. Instead I put together this Blurb book from my Vegas trip last year, its a slightly edited version of the blog posts. I've been struggling with the cover ever since and finally finished tonight. I'm pretty excited to see it, if I like it I can see myself making more books like this in the future!

The evil vortex of Calculus...

2010-11-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

Athabasca University Math 265...aka Calculus...is kicking my ass. And at this point I'm not even sorry about the swear word...sorry Grandma! You know...I have very seldom worked this hard at anything in my life...and gotten such unsatisfactory results. Well I can think of one other situation...*snicker*...sometimes I'm not a very nice person.

Sigh. Anyways, I am so lucky to have found Jacinda...she's my math tutor and makes calculus bearable. IF I pass this course, it will be ONLY because of her. Its pretty incredible how much time she has devoted to me...and she refuses to let me pay her. Unbelievable really. She also started tutoring my cousin Matthew, so last week we had a 'study' date...I thought suckers were a pretty good 'reward', but apparently 12 year olds think that's 'not-cool'.

Really...I have so many things on the go at the moment...I'm hanging on to my 'give a damn' by a thread and it sucks so much more to work so hard for mediocre grades. But I'm trying to focus on the big picture...only 4 more weeks left in this semester. I can't WAIT for December 18th...you have no idea!

Thanksgiving Mennonite Style

2010-10-10T23:47:00.000-06:00

Mennonites are typically pretty good cooks & bakers...but almost nothing they cook or bake is good for you lol. A traditional Mennonite food, wreniki, is an extra special treat in my family. They are very time consuming to make, so wreniki suppers are reserved for 'special occasions'...like birthdays and holidays!

Essentially, wreniki are cottage cheese perogies. The first step is to make the dough, I think the best part about this picture is the bowl, its probably older than me lol.

Next step is to roll it out, I'm apprenticing at that job and let me tell you its hard to get the dough just right! Not too thick, not too thin. Not too hard, not too soft. Sheesh!!! At one point I was sure Mom was gonna fire me, this is serious business and it was paining her to watch me struggle at it lol...

Then add filling! We make cottage cheese, but fruit wreniki (e.g. blueberry, saskatoon berry, etc) are also pretty common.

Newbie's (e.g. Marissa) are initiated into the family with 'pinching duty'...the edges of each wreniki are sealed by hand.

We do this for 2 hours straight...and no, I never got a final count lol.

Then we squeeze VERY large pots onto Mom's small (but standard sized) stove. It takes forever for them suckers to boil...

Once the water boils you are ready to cook the wreniki.

Then we start the old gravy song & dance...I go through the same..."oh my gosh its not going to thicken" panicked moment everytime...it always does.

But I still tried to calm my nerves with a beverage...it didn't really help...I spilled.

So 4 hours later we are finally ready to eat! Most people eat their wreniki with gravy, salt & pepper, although I do know a few wierdo's (Dad & Brady) who substitute sugar for the salt & pepper. I should also mention that traditionally, wreniki is served with...wait for it...Mennonite Sausage lol.

And although wreniki is a treat, I was still super happy that Grandma brought pumpkin pie...I've been craving it! So in the end this gal got the best of both worlds for Thanksgiving!

Where I learn to count to 18...

2010-10-09T23:18:00.000-06:00

Well...it turns out the tandem only has 13 gears...so I came up 5 gears short, and then we only use about 4 to get from the field to the grain bin. But it still counts! More importantly, I think I finally 'get' the high/low gear deal, its been driving me crazy...to the point I recently dreamt about it.

Anyways, the lovely Alberta weather has pushed harvest WAY back for everyone this year...so we had a harvesting Thanksgiving at the Peters farm today. Dustin & Brady beat me out...and I think they were having just a little too much fun...

They also took turns making 'when you getting here' phone calls...and texts...I haven't felt so loved or missed in a very long time *eye roll* lol.

I think this might have had something to do with it...

Dustin was given the fun task of teacher, I armed him with my camera, he armed himself with a cold one and a pack of smokes...and off we went.

Ok...well I did a little test drive and then we had to wait until the hopper on the combine was full.

Then the race was on, at the Peters farm we unload on the go...uh huh. It was only slightly tense...definitely not picture taking time.

Then it was off to bins...

And back to the field where we had time to repeat tradition...

By then we were almost done and I figured I'd better get my butt in the combine for a little father/daughter time...

I'm sad its over, but thankful I made it out to 'help' at all. And I'm especially thankful to have spent some time my family...days like today make my heart ache. In a good way.

Fall

2010-10-06T22:00:00.001-06:00

I love the river valley...its especially beautiful in the fall.

The song in my heart...

2010-09-21T23:54:00.001-06:00

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words." Unknown

During high school, the situation at home was overwhelming at times...instead of dwelling on it with me, you reminded me it was ok to be a kid. It was ok to be me. We were silly and ridiculous and it was wonderful.

Crazy day?

You always say I need a tan...think we took it a little far this time;). Just kidding...do you remember? Social Studies, we were acting out an African pandemic or something like that lol.

Graduation...

After high school, it was off to bible college for both of us. And yep, I kept the letters you sent me too...you made me an envelope out of the tampon ad from a magazine. Not sure if I ever told you how hard it was learning to share you...

But the silliness continued, the Brandon roadtrip...I will remember that for always.

The moose...ah the moose...makes me giggle EVERY TIME lol.

You stayed at college a couple years longer than I did...I visited a few times. Do you remember this trip? I had started to forget my song...you did you very best to remind me...I wasn't listening. You could have been mad or frustrated...really...you could have let yourself drift away.

Instead you stood beside me...

When I graduated from university a few years later we went on a VERY fun girls trip...truthfully, I don't think we were nearly silly enough lol. Next time...

And a couple years later I had the incredble honor of standing beside you.

Since then, I realized we've done a really terrible job of getting US pictures lol...

I think its safe to say the last couple years have been pretty crazy...for BOTH of us lol. I'm absolutely loving living vicariously through you lol, and although I'm not exactly sure how it happens, every year this friendship thing gets better/bigger/deeper/funner for me. The truth is, lately I've been taking more than I've been giving back...its just that when I forget, you know the song in my heart.

Last days of Summer

2010-09-12T19:46:00.000-06:00

Trying to enjoy the weather while it lasts, I was suprised at all the wildflowers blooming at the dog run!

We like to hang out here...its kinda my 'thinking spot'...and she loves playing in the water.

She also really likes sharing her 'sticks' with me...I almost never leave without paw prints on my pants lol.

Race Report - Team JNP Style

2010-08-31T22:53:00.005-06:00

Last week Go! Dog! Go! and Redline Dogsports put on agility & flyball demonstrations at Whoop Up Days, Neena and I participated two evenings. I knew it would be pretty intense for her, with the noises, the people, the lights...everything. But I also knew it could be a good time to make some scary things a good experience, so I armed myself with an arsenal of treats and a positive attitude.

The first day we had a minor melt down over the monster truck ride, thankfully this time I had tools to help her work through it. We walked away for a bit, we played, we hung out and she got some yummy treats. Gyp & Wicca beat her up. Sarah & Amanda showered her with attention and affection. And by the end of the first night my brave little border collie was feeling ok, if not comfortable.

The improvement between the first and second day was noticeable, she was still uncertain, especially when the monster truck was running, but she stayed with me and she stayed upbeat. I was, I am still, so proud of her!

Participating in the demo was great preparation for the Go! Dog! Go! agility trial on the weekend. My #1 goal, my hope, my dream, was that Neena and I would just have fun the entire weekend. I truly didn't care if she went and visited every pole setter and the judge, if she took every obstacle backwards, if we even finished a course. I justed wanted to see her little wiggle bum wiggling.

Our first run of the weekend was our first ever standard...I had Sarah & Amanda help me pump Neena up, and away we went. She was happy, upbeat and with me the entire time, we missed our weave pole entry once, but the second time we nailed it...and we Q'd!

I was shocked...not that I thought we 'couldn't'...it just wasn't my goal. We raced by my goal like it was standing still...I was so happy and overwhelmed and excited, it left me shaky for a good half an hour lol. I was thrilled...but I truly didn't let it change my goals, or my Plan A for the weekend. I headed into gamble & jumper runs with the same attitude I had for the first run...and each run she seemed to be just a
little more confident and comfortable. We had fun. And we Q'd in every run that day.

Wendy from Paws on the Run Photography was the trial photographer...these are a few photographs from Saturday, I think she did a great job...and I love how happy Neena looks.

I couldn't resist this picture...her little toes are spread, she is totally concentrating on making her contact and she is still so happy. I love it.

By Sunday morning Neena had really hit her groove. She was the real deal, the crazy girl I get every Tuesday at class...the silly gal that not just everyone gets to see. It was awesome to watch...and a feeling that I can't describe.

As far as our runs Sunday, I am super happy with them all...I don't mean any of this to come across as as 'we were so close, darn it'. Instead, think of this as my 'race report'. We had a great gamble, not sure if she got rain in her eyes or if I stopped moving but we missed the final jump. Snooker...well I got lost and Neena so totally knew it, she'd stop and look at me as if to say 'now what?' I have to admit, I gave up, but my dog never did...she did her best to 'lead me', the judge even commented about it lol. Our last run of the trial was another jumpers, they are smooth courses and we get to do lots of running...Neena likes jumpers courses lol. And so we make our video debut, thanks Amanda!!!

On a final note, a long time ago I promised Neena that I'd get her agility leash embroidered when she was officially weaving. I haven't kept my end of the deal, after the weekend I couldn't let it slide any longer. And I didn't beat her to get this picture either...she's being 'sad'. I think its freaking cute.

Amateur Photographers

2010-08-22T13:32:00.001-06:00

Michelle bought a camera like mine this spring and she's having a blast using it. Last week we made some plans to get together to practise our 'photography' moves and do some trail riding.

These were a few of my 'best' shots...I finally downloaded some photo-editing software, its been fun to play with!

I have a hard time sometimes with creativity (science brain!), Michelle does not lol. She has a good eye for different angles and idea's...

Bill is one of the pen riders at the feedlot where Michelle works, he let us tag along and check some steers in 'the bush'. I've NEVER been on a trail ride like that...it was beautiful, challenging and fun! I'm sore lol!

Jess...oh my gosh, she was so happy and spunky! Neena and Mack stayed home, I debated bringing Neena, but once we got going I was really glad I hadn't. I don't trust that I could call Neena off cattle, and I was having a hard enough time just staying on...without worrying about my dog too lol!

I've met a few very nice heelers lately...Neena would love a little sister....sigh. LOL!

Sneaky Photographers...

2010-08-18T20:08:00.001-06:00

Sasha Stewart & co. are the new photographers for Speedy Creek Raceway, I think they are doing a great job and made a point of tracking Sasha down at Wolff Pack for a quick chat. Turns out this 'racing thing' is all new for her!

When I finally had a chance to browse through the Wolff Pack photo's, I found this. She's sneaky! Georg Wowk is the creator and a major sponsor of the Wolff Pack Run, he's also an artist...in many ways I hope to follow in his footprints...so this photograph makes me smile. Thanks Sasha!

Trial Prep

2010-08-14T23:16:00.000-06:00

August is a busy agility month for Neena and I, in addition to demonstrations during Whoop Up Days, we will be trialing here in Lethbridge at the end of the month. We haven't trialed since January, I'm struggling with a few nerves, but I'm determined to do whatever it takes to make sure Neena and I have fun playing agility that weekend. So I've been re-working my Plan A, it was pretty good (when I stuck to it!), but I have a few idea's to make it better.

With all this in mind, we attended a Trial Prep Seminar this morning...lots of it was review, but it was really good for me to hear it again. Its clicking now that we've been in, and I've volunteered for, a handful of trials. Another 8 months of training together also helps, and this summer I've been reminded that Neena thrives on routine. So part of my Plan A will be working on a super duper fun warm-up routine that is consistent, whether its at class or at trial...I think (I hope!) it will help her focus more on me, and less on the surroundings.

After the 'seminar' portion, we ran a couple courses 'fun-match' style. We seldom run full courses during class, so its sometimes hard to see what the 'big picture' looks like. The first run was a jumpers course, I lost her attention at the beginning, but with a small (but firm!) correction she came back and we carried on. Funny how something like that thrills me, I couldn't help remembering the first few nights we trained at the field where we threatened to beat her with jumps so she'd leave the gophurs alone lol. And then she NAILED the serp...I can't even describe how good that moment felt! She's such a good girl!!!

The second course was a standard, again, we had a great run...my favorite moment...was when she nailed the weaves with both speed and accuracy! It was a big confidence boost for me, and proof that she knows what her job is at the weaves. She's such a good girl!!!

I am so proud of her...and I'm going to use memories like these to squash any nerves that might appear in the coming weeks.

How to Be Alone

2010-08-09T22:05:00.002-06:00

If I could be so strong...

Family Camping & Quadding Trip 2010

2010-08-08T21:15:00.000-06:00

In July my family headed up to the Crowsnest Pass for some camping and quadding. I thought I’d be in Denver when they went…so I was very excited to make it! It was an awesome opportunity to be outside and away from the ‘world’, being with my family made it even better.

After I 4x4’d my little sunflower to the campsite, I found a new way to crush cans…just wish I’d been able to finish my drink first!

I decided to see if I could get Neena on a quad, I honestly doubted she would, so I was thrilled when she proved me wrong.

I wanted to make it a good experience for her when I started riding (not driving lol)…so I made sure it looked/sounded like I was having the best time of my life…my family thought I was nuts. But it worked…she chased beside me in her crazy Neena way, and when I stopped she even got back on again…brave puppy!

Friday morning Glen, Dustin and I went on a firewood finding expedition, quad and chainsaw in tow. It was decided that even though I haven’t watched “Ax Man”, I was ‘teachable’ and was allowed to use the chainsaw to cut down and de-branch a couple tree’s with only minor critique.

And this might seem lame…but it was a moment for me!!! I was sawing away, mildly freaking that I’d cut my foot off, somewhat giggling because I had ‘the power’ and the thought popped into my mind that for 8 years I was ok with letting someone ELSE do this for me, instead of experiencing it for myself. Sometimes I’d like to go back and kick my own butt. All because I played with a chainsaw. I’m a head-case for sure;).

When we got back to camp the wood had to be sectioned and halved, I wasn’t going to sit that out either. Sadly, I am MUCH better with a chainsaw than an axe.

So my brother’s can do ANYTHING with a cigarette in their mouth… shoot guns, brand calves, fix vehicles, light birthday cakes, you name it. I have the pictures to prove it. I’ve started to feel a little left out…so I decided this weekend I wanted to join the family tradition.

No worries, I couldn’t smoke a cigarette if my life depended on it. Dustin’s comment when I gave it back was something like “Eww…it’s like someone french-kissed it”.

That afternoon we went for a quad ride, of course this gal can’t afford her own toys…but between family and friends we usually have enough quads for everyone. I’m spoiled and I know it! I do have my own helmet & goggles; I think it might be a good idea to get a pair of riding gear after my adventure!

Of course Dustin has his own quad...I think it looks mean…it’s awesome...

We had a great trip…I’ve usually rode heavier 4x4 quad, think Yamaha Grizzly, so the Scrambler was a fun change. It’s really amazing what you can go over and through with a quad, and it’s a pretty neat feeling when you get to the top of the mountain and can see for miles.

Coming back DOWN the mountain is what got me. So I can be a hot head…I’ll admit it. I really hate being left behind, although I try not to be a total idiot especially when I’m on borrowed equipment. Anyways, I was following Dustin back down the trail; at a steep spot I slowed to give him enough room. As I followed I must have hit a root wrong, and before I knew it I was thrown over the front left tire with the quad following. I remember landing on my shoulders and thinking “the quad is going to squish me”, and then I remember seeing my pant leg get caught and thinking “OH MY GOSH…it’s going to take me WITH it!” Freakay!!!!

I was pretty lucky, besides a scrape on my lower back and some bruises on my legs I came out pretty unharmed. But adrenaline…let me tell you!

Of course when we got back to camp I wanted a photo to memorialize my near death experience!

Other highlights of the trip…got to spend some time with Brady’s girlfriend…it’s a very sweet feeling watching my little brother with a gal. And scary lol!

And SEE!!! I wasn’t lying about the cigarette’s lol!!!

And I also got to hang with my nephew. We had a blast going for little quad rides…although there were a few comments about whether I was qualified after rolling a quad *eye roll*.

I love his dirty little finger in this picture...I think its a sign of a kid who's had a good weekend!

It’s going to be fun in a couple years when he’s big enough to ride his own!

We try to make this a yearly trip, sometimes it doesn't work, but I am really hoping it works out that we can go again next year. I've really missed the mountains, and quadding. I'm getting more and more determined to do some snowmobiling this winter...its been too long!

Wolff Pack 2010

2010-08-04T20:38:00.003-06:00

*I stand corrected on a few things...I'll take it...I'm not above admitting when I make mistakes.

There is a handful of racing weekends I especially look forward to every summer; the Wolff Pack Run is one. It’s hard to explain to ‘non-racers’ what an amazing event this is, the purse of $40,000 is absolutely unheard of for a modified race. This year the feature winner took home $5000…to help put that in perspective, the prize for the Duel in the Desert I went to in Las Vegas was ~$7800. The Duel was attended by ~240 cars, the Wolff Pack draws about 35-40. The sponsor support alone sets this race aside from anything else remotely like it…my favourite part…its my best chance to watch some of the best Canadian modified racers compete against each other.

BCR has hosted this race for the past two years, however, this year Speedy Creek Raceway in Swift Current had the honour…so last weekend a few of us BCR die-hards packed up and headed to Saskatchewan for our long weekend.

The trip started out with a bang…literally! We barely got on the road and took the transmission out of the truck; fortunately we had access to a back-up truck, but it wasn’t the start to the weekend we were looking forward too, as you can tell by Kathy’s face lol!

I am always torn when I don’t have a ‘job’ at a race track…on one hand it is SUPER nice to actually watch some racing. On the other hand, I get fidgety any time I’m waiting for racing to start. By Saturday afternoon I was ready to climb walls, so my camera and I took a little stroll around the exhibition grounds. They have this little heritage village type deal called Doc’s Town, lots of neat museum type buildings.

And then of course I found this…and had to check it out…figured Grandpa would be proud of me:).

This made me smile to myself…I can’t think of better music for during a ‘you may kiss the bride’ moment than the sound of a modified engine in the background.

It was finally time for the ‘Big Event'...

I found myself a quiet place on Frenchie’s car hauler to watch the race.

Sometimes its just really nice not to worry who’s looking when you watch a race through your fingertips…or when you scream at the flagman for a call (I was so mad I wanted to spit when the starter threw the green with a tail car IN FRONT…*I'd like to apologize to the flagman for the 'stupid' comment, it was poor class on my part to cut down someone who volunteers their personal time to fuel my racing addiction. Thanks for the reminder Jay. That being said, in my personal opinion it was still a bad call.* He gave a B car/driver a starting position in the A-main and a $1000). I got to do both that night without fear lol! Rain threatened most of Saturday (not Friday)…but it held off long enough to get through the first heats and the first B-main.

I had to laugh bitterly when I went through my photos on Monday. I caught a couple ESTEVAN cars going through TECH.

Racing is always full of drama, its part of the attraction for me in all honestly. Sunday the 10A and 21 took 2nd and 3rd (not 1st and 2nd) at the checkered flag…#21 then proceeded to throw a temper tantrum that makes Paris Hilton look like an angel. In front of the entire crowd. What angers me the most…we sat beside these little people…and they picked these cars to win…they were CHEERING THEM ON!!!!! These drivers are someone’s hero…heck, I STILL get hero worship for drivers. And I’ll admit…a few laps into the race I picked the #21 to win the event. If I'M disappointed, how do those kids feel?

The 21 was disqualified for his unsportsmanlike behavior, then to add to the disgust, the 10A (who is coincidentally the 21's father) refused to let his car be teched. HE GAVE UP SECOND (not first) PLACE!!!! These actions lead me to believe they are FREAKING CHEATERS!

I STILL am confused about this...(non-race fan readers can skip over this next little rant!!!)...I think it was a well known fact any Estevan cars that showed would likely be top contenders. Surely they knew that as well...and therefore would have known they had a good chance of being teched at the end of the night. So that says to me they weren't racing for a 'title'. 10A said later in the pits they weren't racing for prize money either...however during the 21's tantrum he accused the flagman of costing him several thousand dollars...so I call BS on that. I will further go on to say they had to KNOW if they were caught they would disappoint their fans. So I just don't understand why. WHY????

Finally, I'm annoyed because I came to watch some racing. It would have been awesome to see the finish if all parties were running on a level playing field. Taking that from me is the icing on the cake...and it tastes like crap.

So Team Turnbull...I hope you read this...and I hope you either have the man parts to explain yourself in a way that will be even remotely logical (which I highly doubt is possible), or I hope somehow you learn that winning really doesn't make you a champion. Shame on you.

Ok. I think I'm done now.

Nope...wait...one more thing. If you think no one caught you smirking as George Wowk left your car hauler...your wrong. I thought that was really respectful...considering he's the person who made the
entire event possible in the first place.

So that's the people who acted like scum...now let me tell you about a racer who absolutely made me smile from the inside out this weekend. See the #22 leading in this photo?

That car belongs to/is driven by one Wild Wild Wes. I've been on the fence about this fella for some time now...I can almost never tell if he's actually annoyed, or if he's just pulling my leg. But I had it on good authority he has a heart of gold...so I've been watching. This weekend...around a campfire...he started talking about his best friend...who just happens to be his wife. And then there is his laugh...oh my gosh...but that's another story.

Sometimes I forget why I love this sport so much, and talking to Wes on the weekend triggered one of my 'ponderings'. Of course I truly do enjoy the actual racing. And I like helping put on a good show for the fans. But a huge part is because of the people, usually drivers, I meet. These guys are living their dream, and its NOT an easy dream to make come true. I've seen men fund their racing out of an envelope...literally! (sponsor money + payouts = repairs + entry fee's). I've seen men juggle swim meets, weddings, and family reunions. I've seen helmets passed to help a fellow racer in a time of need...sometimes for racing reasons, more often for personal. I've seen drivers donate their winnings to charity. I've seen enemies help change each other's tires. And I've heard drivers talk about their wives in a way that tugs at my silly girl feelings. Seeing the humanity...that's why I keep coming back for more.

Of course...I can't talk about this sport without mentioning my racing family!!!! I had a great time with them on the weekend...I'm learning more all the time...its very interesting to hear the stories that make racing what it is in Southern Alberta today. Ironically, my first racing family memory 13 years ago was of James yelling at me lol. I had a stupid teenager moment and so totally deserved it. Little did I know at the time where this racing deal would lead. Sometimes life is crazy...and I kinda like it.

Was a great weekend! Fantastic actually! Only 361 days until Wolff Pack 2011, I can't wait!

Where Alberta Girls Play Hard - Part 2

2010-08-03T22:33:00.000-06:00

July 13, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRLFRIEND!

Dragged our sorry butt’s out of bed this morning to attend my modeling debut, aka Kim’s presentation on some of the E.coli work we’ve done. Afterwards, we tried…we really did…to take in more of the conference, but we were exhausted. We went back to the hotel and crashed.

For her birthday Michelle wanted to take some photographs downtown, and she wanted Italian. So later that afternoon we headed out, camera’s in tow.

We toured around and stopped at Coyote Ugly to buy a couple of souvenir T-shirts ;). Then we tracked down this amazing little restaurant that makes its own pasta and cheese. I had ravioli and Michelle had another pasta dish…it was to die for.

Even with our afternoon nap, these Alberta girls were still played out; I’m STILL a little ashamed to admit we called it an early night.

July 14, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERRY!

Feeling a little rested we headed to the conference this morning to meet with Michelle’s master’s supervisor, Karen. For breakfast we had crepes…yummo! It was good to chat with Karen, she is ‘the’ animal welfare scientist here in Lethbridge…its all work I’m very interested in, and its future is so big!

Temple Grandin was scheduled to speak that afternoon and I was determined to catch it, so while I listened to her, Michelle went to a Livestock Transport session. It’s a well known fact that Temple has autism and I was super curious to see how she presented herself…I found her quite funny! Its mind-boggling the amount of reading that woman does, and how much she retains.

I was able to catch Karen’s presentation on cattle transport. Although I helped collect some of the data, and am fairly familiar with the work she was talking about, it was really neat to see it compiled and presented.

I also got to attend Cheryl Morris-Dikeman speech about enriching our pet’s lives. Little did I know she trains agility dogs and actually competes at a national level. Was a very interesting seminar…I am glad I caught it, and wish I’d had time to talk to her after.

That night was the awards banquet for the Canadian Society for Animal Science. We got to chat with some familiar faces and a few new people as well. And the food was fantastic! Later we headed out with a couple co-workers to find a place to ‘celebrate’. We played some pool and some beer pong, fine tuned our line-dancing skills and in the end we shut the playground down…it was a fabulously fun time.

July 15, 2010
I woke up to find Michelle had put her contacts in with mine. Awwww.

It was time to start heading back to Canada...I was sad. On our way out of Denver we found this...

I’m not trying to make a political statement here…but it kinda hurt my feelings!

Left Turn navigated us the Coors factory which we ‘toured’ M&J style. Unfortunately I was driving, and I’ve turned into somewhat of a light-weight…so I didn’t get to enjoy my samples.

Would LOVE to work in this lab;).

Next stop was a western store where Michelle found a to-die for pair of cowboy boots (watch for them later!!!).

So we are driving along, minding our own business, when out of no-where a Budweiser factory pops up…my girlfriend very kindly let me stop. Left Turn, on the other hand, was not so pleased with this turn of events.

A co-worker/friend of mine is in the process of moving to the ranch her husband now manages in Lander, and she had offered us accommodations for the night, so after the factory we raced across Wyoming so as not to be bad company.

The Red Canyon Ranch is absolutely beautiful. I believe it’s actually a state-owned nature conservancy of ~60,000 unfenced acres. It hurts my brain to think about how big that is. The farm house is historic, and although it has had some updating, plenty of charm remains. I had a great visit with Emily & Bob; it was neat to talk to them about the ranch, about school, agriculture, etc. And of course there was some girl chat too lol!

July 16, 2010
Big day today...Yellowstone National Park in a day! We called it our quick & dirty visit. Drove in from the south and stopped to photograph some water falls.

Next stop was Old Faithful…which we timed it perfectly. We walked up, she did her thing, took a few pictures, and walked back to our car.

My navigator (not Left Turn!) decided we should check out this Canyon Village area…so we did. And I am so glad. It was beautiful. One stop was called Inspiration Point…and it really was inspiring.

By this time we were sort of in a rush…the plan was little red dress night in Bozeman, Montana! We arrived with just enough time to check ourselves into a seedy little motel, primp and prep ourselves into our dresses, and do a quick photo-shoot in the remaining light. Only a few people stared at a couple gals in red dresses lying in a weed field in Bozeman, Montana.

I absolutely hate to write this…but it just wasn’t my night. And I think that’s enough of that.

July 17, 2010
My girlfriend…she just blows me away. I woke up to a latte and breakfast. I heart her more than I can write.

We had scoped out a few stores during our walk the night before…so that morning we did the last of our shopping at pet and western stores. When we’d finally blown the bank we raced across Montana in an effort to make it back to Canada for a modified race and a Miranda Lambert concert.

I can honestly say I’ve never had a trip like that. I'm not sure I ever will again...some things just seem to be once in a lifetime experiences. I've been fortunate enough to have several of those this summer...hopefully I have many more to look forward too;).

Where Alberta Girls Play Hard - Part 1

2010-07-30T11:53:00.000-06:00

First off...I know some of my family have been wondering how my recovery is going...I'd say its been colorful! This was a couple days ago...today its mostly John Deere colors. I can live with that:)

I've really debated posting more about Denver...it sort of seems like a 'had to be there' deal. We DID write a trip log…its 8 typed pages long…and the first edition left my mom a little speechless. In the end I decided that NOT blogging at least some of it would be to leave one of the funnest weeks of my life off my 'journal'...so I compromised and this will be the sweetened-condensed version ;).

July 8, 2010
As usual we were running, Michelle showed up and we had 15 minutes to throw my stuff in the car and get across town to drop Mack off at his sitter’s.

After that it was off to the border! Let’s just say we hadn’t seen each other since May, we had A LOT of girl talk to catch up on:)!

The border…well Michelle gets “chatty” when she’s nervous, I was pretty sure we were going to get strip searched…we just HAD to tell them how we were taking pictures at the border. That’s a no-no. The border guards were also a little worried for us when they saw ALL the service lights in Shelley’s car were on. Somehow we convinced them we weren’t a risk to national security and they let us through. We rocked on to Great Falls where we spent the night.

July 9, 2010
Woke up hungry…needed some toast STAT!

We weren’t in a rush, only had to make it to Denver by Saturday noon, so we drove, and we shopped, and then we drove some more. Michelle slept…or so she said, she was awake enough to laugh at what a bad singer I am!

We were pretty torn over what we should do that night. Michelle had her heart set on playing in Wyoming; however we also had an invite to a stockyard party in Greeley, Colorado via text. Finally we (very wisely) decided to stay in Wyoming. We rented a room in a motel across the street from our playground of choice; coincidentally it was the last room…it was almost like it was meant to be! We got ourselves cleaned up…and proceeded to show Cheyenne, Wyoming that Alberta girls really do have more fun ;). Although did you know American chicks line-dance? I’m STILL impressed.

July 10, 2010
We woke up giggling at our adventures. It was awesome!

Denver bound...little did we know that Left Turn (aka. the GPS) was set to avoid freeways, we were following the directions and suddenly we are cruising through suburban Denver. I might of…ok I did get a little cranky because it didn’t feel right…and sure enough guess where we ended up? Back on the freeway!

We made it to the hotel, got ready for our white water rafting trip and headed to the meeting place. It would have been handy if Left Turn could give us directions to the nearest parking. Caught the bus and passed the trip to the rafting location by chatting with the tour guide and deciding we should start introducing ourselves as “Al” and “Berta”. The rafting trip…well it just didn’t really cut it for this adrenaline junkie…but we made best of it lol!

That night we attended a student mixer at a lounge in downtown Denver. Turned out from the rooftop patio we could see the Coors Stadium where the Rockies were playing…in was really beautiful in the evening light. The organizer of the mixer had also hired a couple of country dance instructors to give lessons to those who wanted. They were fantastic dancers, never seen anything like it!

After the mixer, we decided to practise our moves at an establishment next door where we continued to mingle and met this 43 year old grandma who I seriously thought was my age. She was from Greeley where they ‘kill cows’. Still giggling about that one.

July 11, 2010
Michelle woke up feeling like hell this morning, I felt fantastic…even showed her my new ‘line dancing’ moves. I think she wanted to kill me.

We headed to the conference center to register, grabbed our conference packages and decided to do a little downtown touring. We ended up at this awesome pet store where I was able to get the collar I wanted for Neena. SO excited!

Stopped for lunch at this burger place…was delicious! Later we took in a movie (Grown Ups) and some shuffleboard at a David & Buster’s. Us gals are surprisingly good at shuffle board…

July 12, 2010
This morning Michelle let me sleep (left me a love note saying she couldn’t wake my “pretty face”) and headed to the conference to present her poster. Temple Grandin stopped to talk to her about her research…pretty cool!

Plan A that night was…well it’s a super long story…essentially we crashed an alumni event and got accused of ‘browsing’. It was both VERY embarrassing and VERY funny. And to top it off, for a door prize we won Texas A&M POULTRY tee’s…*nose wrinkle*.

So instead…as Michelle puts it, we “took in the Coyote Ugly Saloon in Denver, Colorado, United States of America”.

The night started out kind of slow…at one point Michelle wanted to leave…I convinced her we just had to “ride it out”. And we did. Alberta Girl Style!!!

On a side note…this is how sheltered my little life has been…until this trip, I had no clue what beer pong was. Fun game…especially when you have a gal pal who will always bail you out!

To Be Continued....

Busy!!!!

2010-07-26T19:26:00.000-06:00

I'm going to try to post more about Denver later, its just been crazy busy since I got back!

Sherry was down last week, we managed to sneak in a visit which included milkshakes from the Vauxhall Wendy's and a couple hours at Mom's lot at the lake. Dylan is growing and changing so fast, and holy has the little man ever filled out in a hurry. And he learned how to smile!

Always got to have a token feet shot...before we know it they won't be so cute anymore;).

Dylan is such a good big brother, although sometimes its hard to remember he's just a little guy himself. He's quite the little monkey, I couldn't believe the positions he navigated himself in and out of.

And this picture just made me laugh...

I love this picture, Sherry is such a good mom. When I first downloaded this picture I had a moment of, man...that's my childhood friend with her second baby. Wow! And then I couldn't help but notice just how in love she is with that little guy. So sweet.

The visits are never long enough...but I try to treasure every moment!

On another note...last weekend was Family Quadding & Camping Trip 2010. I thought for sure I was going to miss it while I was in Denver so was SO excited when it turned out I could make it. When I finally get all my pictures edited I'll post them...some are VERY funny. And overall the trip was super fun...except for this...

...and this...

...and of course there were aches and bruises that weren't exactly photographable.

I finally did it...after riding quads for 23ish years and Friday I rolled my first full size quad. I'll tell the full story later...but for now I'm very glad that I didn't break my neck or my leg...I very easily could have. Good news is I'm pretty sure I added a few gray hairs to Mom & Dustin's heads...I like to do that as often as possible lol!

Inspiration Point

2010-07-19T19:47:00.002-06:00

Its been over a year since I started my blog, I was just talking with my brother and his girlfriend on Sunday...they finally checked it out and were a little suprised how much I share here. I guess I know just how much I don't share...but when I read back, what I've posted reminds me of what I haven't. I always wanted this to be a record of my life...and if just once in my blogging lifetime, a post I write touches someone in a way that makes a difference...sharing all this will be worth it.

So...first of all I know I'm tired (entirely self-induced, more later!), and I learned a long time ago that I get emotional when I'm tired...and this winter I learned I'm wordy. I suspect I might get a little both today lol...but I need to write this down before I forget.

I've always been a runner. Not the type that I want to be...the kind that I'm ashamed to be. I think I can handle a lot, but eventually I hit this point where the situation or circumstance gets too much...and I run away. I've run to a racetrack in Cutbank, I've run to Abbotsford,

Snohomish, Calgary, and last week I ran all the way to Denver. I'm a coward.

It was never planned to be a great escape...the beautiful, ambitious girl and I had schemed this trip up a long time ago. But that's what it ended up being...and it was such a relief to leave Alberta. I hate that. I love this province. And for the most part I love my life. But there are some parts of my life that paralyze me. I hate to be weak. I hate when I let myself become stagnant, and clip my own darn wings. Hate. Hate. Hate. Oh ya, and I hate that I hate.

So that's my confession for 2010. Regardless of my cowardly ways, the trip was good for me. We attended a major animal science conference where I got to see Temple Grandin speak...that was pretty neat. Also went to a companion animal enrichment talk given by Cheryl Morris an agility instructor from the US which gave me some new idea's for Neena...super cool to run into that type of topic at an animal science seminar! It was absolutely mind-boggling, and motivating, to realize how much more I can be doing for my career. The possibilities are endless, and I've become very lazy. So Denver Trip 2010 Life Lesson #1 was a reminder to work hard.

Denver Trip 2010 Life Lesson #2 was to play hard. And I did LOL! More on that later.

That made Inspiration Point, Yellowstone National Park, Denver Trip 2010 Life Lesson #3.

I know this pictures is underwhelming...but this photograph and the moment it reminds me of have richer meaning for me. Its a feeling, a culmination of days of (sometimes lol) meaningful girl-talk, a seminar, a few life experiences, a bit of quiet Jen time, and some space from the real world. Its not easy to describe...but its something like this...I've got the world in the palm of my hand right now...if I'm not careful I'll let it slip right through my fingers and all the pain I've caused, all the pain I've felt, will be for nothing.

Granted the first thing I did when I returned to Alberta was create a MONSTROUS McFlurry (inside joke) out of a situation I've been having absolutely no success getting right. *Sigh*

But I've got a new plan. I've got goals. I've had a painful, but much needed reality check about a few things I just couldn't stop hoping for. And I'm feeling both inspired and motivated.

Its time to move forward. Again! LOL!

A little Seadoo action

2010-07-14T11:28:00.005-06:00

A couple weekends ago I headed back home to hang with some high school pals. We took their seadoo out to a local reservoir...the weather was perfect, and I love water sports!

Daryl took the 'girls' out...I told him I didn't want a sissy ride but I'm pretty sure he didn't try as hard as he could of to shake me off lol. And of course it wasn't my machine, I also didn't try as hard as I coulda to shake him off lol...

We spent some time soaking up the sun.

Which presented some opportunities...

Darryl was WAY too nice, Rhonda absolutely DRENCHED us later lol.

We often threw a football around back in the day, it was fun to see somethings never change...

Ok...well maybe a few things have changed...like now instead of throwing a football I try to capture the action. Its really probably better this way...I throw like a girl lol!

July 1st Rednecked Style

2010-07-08T11:27:00.000-06:00

I spent July 1st in Vauxhall, they try to put on a demolition derby every year. Little known Crazy J fact, in high school some of the guys put together a demolition car, and then their mom's squashed their driving dreams...they asked me to drive. I'd already been in a stock car a couple times, what could my mom really say? It was fun...but it makes me cringe when I think about the safety of those cars (although not enough to say no, right Mom!).

Anyways, I knew several of the drivers, mostly friends of my family...and then I was suprised to see one of my truck drivers from BCR has a car there as well!

A little pre-derby auction action!

Scott, a family friend, is in the #7 and Shaun, from BCR, is in the #11.

Brody, is in the green #444 car.

I am very bad (or very good?) at making associations...as soon as I arrived I was picking out car numbers that match racers I know...#13, #69, #44, #11, etc...sometimes its freaking exhausting lol! This also made me laugh...

This ended up being one of his favorite moves...

I think all the guys we were cheering for made it to the finals.

The last two cars were Shaun in the #11 and the #44...woulda liked to see a pal win...but in the end reigning champ took the trophy.

It was a fun way to spend the day, the evening was also fun...maybe a little too much, right Mom;) lol!

Country Chix

2010-07-04T17:24:00.000-06:00

It was so hard to choose which photographs to post...and how! Sarah has a few more posted on her blog in an album, and I'm thinking about making a photobook, it might be neat!

Its been really hard to describe the emotion these photographs evoke, and what they mean to me. They will always remind me of this period of my life, and I feel like Sarah managed to capture an all encompassing moment of what my life is right now. I wish I had better words.

The Element of Freedom

2010-06-30T23:40:00.005-06:00

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. This is the element of Freedom"

Alicia Keys ~ The Element of Freedom

The Road We're On...

2010-06-30T00:38:00.000-06:00

It sometimes amazes me just how quickly life can change...just two and a half short years ago I adopted Neena. At the time I had it all planned out, I'd get this perfect little dog for my perfect little family and we would be perfectly happy.

Since then I've been learning that life almost never goes as planned lol. But although Neena isn't my 'perfect little dog'...she is so perfectly mine! Yesterday I was talking (ok I was complaining) to Sarah about how she never looks sheepish when she's being 'disciplined'...Sarah joked she's a 'spank me harder mom' kinda dog...and I almost died because I can remember saying those very same words to my mom.

(And ya...I know I just went there. And I don't really care!)

Anyways, I'm one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason although we might just never know what those reasons are. However, the reason why Neena's mine is simple...I need her.

I'm not sure how to write this...I don't want to make this a big 'sob story'...maybe like this. I survived. And I survive. We all have things in our lives...hard things. And we all seem to survive. But it is Neena that pushes me to keep moving forward every day. Walk me. Feed me. Train me. Love me.

I know Neena won't be my last dog...but she IS my first 'real' dog. Its been on my mind for a long time, and I finally asked Sarah to photograph us. After the past year it seemed fitting to have 'family' pictures...and I especially loved Sarah's idea to photograph us on a 'journey'. After all, it's Neena who's been with me every step of the way.

Thank-you so very much Sarah! For everything!

Where I play Cake Boss

2010-06-21T21:50:00.001-06:00

It was my nephew's first birthday last weekend, and his parents planned a three-day party...I mean family camping trip. I asked (actually, I begged lol) to make the cake; we decided marble would be yummy and I spent some time looking for cake and icing recipes. AND I found a place that rents cake pans...who knew! There were SO many options...maybe I'll get the chance try a few more in the future!

I had Friday off (I LOVE compressed work weeks!), so that afternoon I started baking. Things always start out fairly neat...

And then I have to measure or add the flour and it all goes downhill from there lol.

Not even my camera is safe from the Crazy J baking experience.

Finally I had the batters ready...

I greased the pan...

And got ready to make a big mess! I thought FO SURE the dispensing of the batter was gonna end badly...but it went pretty good! Although there were a few drips that wrecked my 'zebra' effect...drove me crazy!

Next challenge was to not over-bake the cake...you may remember I have the tendency of doing that!

Before I could ice the cake I had to flatten the base, which worked in my favor...TASTE TEST! LOL!

Now if I'd been reading about how to ice the cake, instead of just reading yummy icing recipes...I'd have known you get fewer crumbs in the icing if you let it sit a day. I read this lil nugget of information Friday, so I decided to wait and ice the cake Saturday morning. In the meantime I made the icing. 8. That's how many cups of icing sugar I used. That is sick. I actually felt bad letting my nephew eat it. No lie.

Bright and early Saturday morning I was up dying the icing. And my fingies.

At this point I remembered that I'm a science geek...I can barely draw stick figures, and my writing...well I've had RACERS make fun of it...its pretty bad. Sigh. BUT...for the cause (eg. that little boy who I love very much!) I soldiered on...TWO HOURS...that's how long it took. But I figure it turned out not bad for my first cake boss attempt!

It was a lot of work. It was also a lot of fun. Hope to do it again lol!

Sprint Car Photoshoot

2010-06-15T22:44:00.001-06:00

Saturday was our first Sprint car race of the season, it was so busy I didn't have a chance to take my camera out of its bag! I arrived at 3pm and it was non-stop until 11pm...crazay! We had 27 sprint cars and three supporting classes, when I finally had a minute to catch my breath I figured we had 63 racing vehicles in total. That's pretty cool.

I met up with TSR earlier in the day to photograph the cars. Before they went to the track. Just in case they got...dirty lol!

So, I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm actually not impressed with these pics. I haven't really been happy with my racing photo's lately...I'm still turning it over in my head, got some idea's. Now I just gotta make them into plans!

Anyways, introducing TSR! There's a story behind the paint scheme...its based on Jimmy Spencer's (a retired NASCAR driver) Smokin Joe car...I don't get why that makes it so cool, guess itsa guy thing lol! I DO think they look pretty flashy though!

Driven by:

#32 - Sean Moskal

and #23 - Brad Robertson

Brad had the whole family along...I have yet to meet a racer who didn't like a photo of a little person in his/her car. I imagine your own kid would be extra fun!

SOOO funny, I'm convinced this is what drivers would LIKE to do when things don't go as planned....

Team Shot: Car owners, drivers, kids and dog included lol!

Oh ya...I said Brad brought the whole family right? In my opinion, the racing world could use more pink!