The dark side of racing

Seriously, Saturday morning I woke up dreaming of burning sprint cars. I don't really buy into premonition or superstition...and actually I know exactly what conversation led to that particular dream...but lemme tell you it still left me feeling uneasy all day. Saturday night I was at BCR, the sprints were at RMRP...Sean will probably kick my a## and call me a pansy when/if he reads this...but it was a small relief to know he wasn't racing. Unfortunately racing is a family (actually...its fortunately...I'm fortunate to be part of this crazy family) and there were plenty of other guys, some that I've also known for years, strapping themselves into sprint cars that night.

One day I should do a post on race car safety...from a science/biology aspect I find it super interesting. And fortunately at the higher levels of racing (e.g. mods/sprints/late models) you almost never see people taking short cuts with their equipment. The argument I've heard...and made...is that you are actually safer in a race car than you are on the highway...and in my logical moments I really believe that.

But after Sean's accident this summer I SAW the bruises on his legs and back...a few weeks later his back gave out and he missed 2 weeks of work (now I'm gonna get my a## kicked for sure lol!)......and it freaked me out. I was also reminded this summer that people have DIED racing in Alberta...and that freaked me out too.

THEN yesterday I was on an Alberta racing forum and read that Canadian sprint car driver, Travis Rutz, had been in a bad racing accident on the weekend. I won't lie, until yesterday I had NO IDEA who he was...but then you start googling a few things...and you realize that is someone's kid/brother/friend/mentor...I thought I dodged a bullet Saturday night when everyone I KNEW came home safe...but remember that racing family part? There is a knot in my chest at the thought that ANYONE in a race car didn't go home safe this weekend...

I know that next year Sean is gonna strap himself back into 1500lbs of race car and who knows how many gallons of highly explosive fuel...and then rocket himself around a dirt track like a little kid on a go-cart. I know I'll be cheering him on because I am only too proud of him and any other racer who has the determination and dedication to make this crazy dream they have a reality. But I also know that each weekend I will pretend to have no fears, to not get emotional and freaked out after a big wreck, and to not remember that every now and then something happens to remind you how fragile life really is.

Along with thousands of others in the racing community...my thoughts are with Travis, his family and his friends.

5 Years

Five years ago today I made a vow to a man. In a church. Before God. Before Family. Before Friends. And I meant it.

I can honestly say it was one of the best days of my life, I have beautiful wedding pictures to remember it by. Looking at them reminds me of the hope and promise, the dreams and plans, the excitement and celebration. It reminds me of all that I thought we could be, all that I thought we would be.

On that day I never imagined the day would come that I would take my wedding rings off for the last time. I never imagined we'd one day discuss how to divide our home, our family, our lives. I never imagined that we wouldn't celebrate our 5th, or our 50th anniversary.

I'm not writing this to evoke sympathy, support or even congratulations. I don't owe anyone who reads this an explanation. I wrote this because I need to acknowledge that it was real, it was important, and that when I think back to September 25, 2004...I have no regrets.

Photography for Dummies

I bought my first digital SLR just before Christmas...and have had it on automatic settings ever since. Occasionally, by fluk, I get a photo I really like...but I've been mostly disappointed by my picture taking skills (case in point...think the Border Collie finals lol!).

Early this spring I signed up for a photography course and it finally started last week. I learned about shutter speed, aperture & f-stops, white balance & ISO...its been cool. I've been playing a little, trying to get comfortable with the settings...and I'm already happy with how much better some of my pics have turned out!

BTW...this has been a REAL good reminder of how poorly I taught Neena 'sit' and 'stay' lol!

Plan A

This weekend Neena and I competed in our first agility trial at the Flashing Canines Fall Trial in Medicine Hat. We entered in July and because Neena is not quite weaving yet we had to pick and choose which events we would run in. I had her entered in the gamble & jumpers course on Saturday, and then another gamble and snooker on Sunday.

I had some time to think about and prepare for our 'first trial'...Sarah & Amanda and the other Go Dog Go students gave lots of pointers...essentially most advice sounded like this..."FIRST try...go with NO expectations and a complete open mind, that way EVERYTHING will be a success! Call it a chance to experience, rather than compete!". Awesome! Sounded like a good plan to me! Especially since I had no idea how I would handl a trial situation, let alone how Neena would react.

We had to get up at 4:30am to make it to Medicine Hat in time...really! Does Neena have any idea the sacrifices I make for her?

First thing on our agenda was getting Neena measured, we had practiced at class on Monday...it is a little freaky since they ahve to stand under a pole held by the judge. We had thought Neena was >21" which meant she'd have to jump 26" regular or 22" special, but she measured under 21"...22" regulars it is!

Soon after that we started walking the first starters gamble, there weren't many dogs in the class so it seemed like it didn't take long before it was our turn! Hahahaha...I'm just looking at the course and realizing I have no memory of what my path actually was! But I do remember we did pretty good, I think we ended up with 23 points in the opening sequence and we even managed the end gamble. Unfortunately I had a wardrobe malfunction (stupid sunglasses!) and we ran out of time...but I thought she did FABULOUS...and was pretty annoyed with myself for screwing up!

Our first agility course!

We didn't run our jumpers course until much later in the day, I took Neena for a couple short walks, I thought she was doing pretty good...I thought I was doing pretty good. The course was awesome, lots of flow where you could run with your dog and Neena loves that. I was totally excited about it and thought this was going to be great! My only worry was the tire because Neena had refused it in the gamble...I decided if she refused it on the jumpers course I'd ask her to do it again. We started the run and it was good...but she ran under the tire. I asked her to do it again...and then again...and then I totally lost my head and wasn't sure to do...so we walked off.

In retrospect I realized a few things happened. First...I forgot about 'Plan A'...which was to have fun with my dog and have no expectations! Plan B was "we know how to do this...we should easily Q...its practically in the basket" (yep...just a little embarrassed to admit it lol!). Second...I forgot to pay attention to my dog. Neena was doing 'ok', but she didn't have a great day...she was stressed and overwhelmed by all the newness and I should have done a better job keeping her mind off the 'scary' things and keeping it on the 'fun' things. Third...well...I really let my nerves and emotions get to me and never took the time to acknowledge, let alone talk myself out of them...I'm sorry Neena!

Saturday after the jumpers run I was pretty annoyed with myself...I took the time to think about where I went wrong, and came up with a plan (well, actually I reminded myself of Plan A lol!). I also thought about a few ways to make Neena more comfortable the next day...Priority Number 1 for Sunday was to make sure she had FUN!

Sunday morning went a lot better, I made sure to take Neena out of her crate a lot more, we played and then I made sure she got lots of attention from a few of her favorite people. She was much more relaxed and happy! We started with a gamble...I was still a little confused why she was refusing the tire, Debbie gave me the idea to set Neena up so it was her first obstacle. By getting her attention and calling her through it I was able to get her to 'see' the tire and actually complete it instead of running under...YAY NEENA! We were doing great, unfortunately there was a timing error so we made it about 3/4 of the way when we were asked to re-start. BUGGER! Neena is a little like her mom and gets bored easily...so it was a challenge to keep her focused on me and still having fun. I jumped the gun and started before they were ready the second time...so we had to re-start a THIRD time...sheesh! We managed to have a decent run, it wasn't as good as our first run was shaping up to be...but Neena had lots of on course tire practice, she stayed with me and had fun...WE WIN!

Our final run of the weekend was snooker...Kim always comes up with super fun and flowy runs and I totally stole her path! We started off really great, I had to think on my feet when Neena took a tunnel instead of the teeter like I wanted...but we worked it out and it was my fault anyways (true fact...99.9% of the time when she doesn't do it 'right'...its my fault lol!). The second time I asked her to do the teeter she bailed off...so I asked her to do it again. This time she stuck the contadct but b/c we'd already 'done' the obstacle we were whistled off. For a split second I thought CRAP...but then I was glad I'd asked her to do it right anyways...the teeter is her weakest/newest obstacle and I'm glad I reinforced it for her. So we win...again lol!

Sarah took some photo's of our snooker run for me...thanks!

Neena goes a little wild when I say 'ouch' or pretend to slap myself...guess what I do before a run?

LOOK...I can FLY off the teeter....

And then once the 'right' way...she looks so proud of herself!

Apparently Go Dog Go has a tradition where you get a key chain for your first agility trial...Neena's is very cute and matches her superstar collar...which by the way she wore this weekend!

It was a great weekend all in all, we learned lots, and had a ton of fun...I just love that dog more and more...how is that possible?

Lady Bugs

On the weekend I got to spend some time with my cousin Sydney...she will tell you she is "two and a HALF" (well...really she's a little older now lol!) and she has really started to become her own little person. She was having quite a time with the lady bugs at the park...eventually one flew away and instead of being upset she simply said 'it was going home now'...too cute!

Odd & Unusual

A racing buddy of mine asked how Neena got her name...I realized I had never blogged Neena's story!

When Neena was 12 weeks old she was sold with two littermates at the Picture Butte Odd & Unusual Sale. At the end of the day her siblings were purchased, however Neena was not...so her 'owner' left her there! Fortunately Donna (the person who I did the chicken clicken with!) was at the auction, and when she realized Neena had been abandoned she decided to take her home. Donna called Amanda who at the time was working with the Prairie Dog Canine Rescue and asked if they'd be willing to take Neena into the rescue. A few days later Sarah and Amanda drove to Donna's to pick her her up...let me tell you...Amanda loves to tell how Neena rode home on her lap...and Sarah loves to tell how she asked if she could be called Neena! From what I understand 'Neena' was supposed to be Gyp's name...but if you've ever met Gyp you know why Neena just wouldn't have worked for her lol!

Around the same time we started talking about whether we should get a dog or not...I'd never had an indoor dog and was worried it would be too much responsibility/change...it was a big decision! In November the rescue had their first ever adoption fair and my brother and I headed down to check it out...both of us noticed Neena right away, she was curled up and sleeping under a chair. We thought she was so sweet...however she had been adopted and we weren't quite ready to make a decision anyways...so we checked out a few more dogs and left. I kept watching the blog, waiting for the 'right' dog to catch my interest...I actually remember thinking Sophie's puppies were very cute but I wasn't sure I was ready for a puppy! In the middle of December I saw that Neena was being returned...I knew right away I wanted to meet her so I got in contact with Amanda and set up a meeting. We met a couple times and talked about Neena and what kind of home she would need, we also took her for a little walk. To this day I don't know what Amanda saw in us, I knew next to NOTHING about having a dog, let alone a border collie...but she let us adopt Neena and it changed my life!

So we did miss the very cute puppy stage with Neena, thanks to Sarah, Amanda and Wendy I have lots of very cute photo's of baby Neena...I just want to squeeze her lol!

Sarah took this photo of Neena...she is fittingly standing on an agility table. I still see this face from time to time...its the "you'd better take me for a walk or I'm gonna shred something" look.

Ahhh...I love me some Neena!

Having Fun!

Neena's been loving a little extra one-on-one time with her Aunty Amanda the past few weeks! And I'm loving that she now has her own personal photography, thanks for the photo's Amanda!

Although on second thought I'm a little jealous that this look of adoration isn't for me lol!

Yes...those are weave poles you see in the background, I am happy to announce that we added a 4th pole this week and even with 3 other distractions (Thank-you Wicca, Boone and Vito lol!) we managed to get some good practise in!